You and your child are very excited about attending a birthday party. But when you arrive there, she won't talk to anyone, looks at the floor and clings to your leg. She acts like she doesn't want to be there at all. Does this scenario sound familiar?
All children, whether introverted or extroverted, can experience shyness at some point. Shyness, or feelings of discomfort or inhibition in social situations, is a common issue with young children. Some children, however, do not exhibit shyness until age seven, or as late as 10 years old. Researchers suspect that although there may be a genetic component to shyness, experiential factors also play an important role.
Parents and others who work with children frequently attempt to involve shy children in activities, because they know shy kids are otherwise missing out on social and developmental experiences. But it is also important to help these children overcome shyness, because many of them simply don't outgrow it. They become shy teens and adults.
While being shy is not a negative trait, researchers have found numerous significant detriments associated with being shy. These include but are not limited to:
When shyness is extreme, it may be diagnosed as social phobia, which according to the Encyclopedia of Mental Health, is the third most prevalent psychiatric disorder in the United States.
There are no precise guidelines for when a family should seek professional assistance for a shy child. Parents can often help their shy children themselves by reading about childhood shyness, and implementing various techniques that experts say are successful with other shy children. If the shyness is particularly troublesome to a parent or child, or if the shyness causes a child significant social impairment (such as refusing to speak at or attend school, or refusing to join groups), a professional evaluation may be warranted. Charlotte Smith, M.A., director of the Social Fitness Public Education Program for The Shyness Institute in Palo Alto, California, likens this evaluation to a wellness checkup.
According to John Walkup, M.D., an associate professor of psychiatry in the Division of Adolescent and Child Psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins Medical Institute, even if the social impairment is only 10 or 20 percent of a child's functioning, that percentage can still be "very important to a child's growth and development" and should be addressed. Therefore, instead of asking whether a child is significantly socially impaired, Dr. Walkup prefers to ask whether a child is "functioning optimally."
There are a number of techniques parents can implement to help their children overcome shyness. Here are just a few important ways parents can help:
RESOURCES:
Anxiety Disorders Association of America
http://www.adaa.org
Shyness. Encyclopedia of Mental Health website. Available at: http://www.shyness.com/encyclopedia.html
The Shyness Institute
http://www.shyness.com
Social Phobia / Social Anxiety Association
http://www.socialphobia.org
CANADIAN RESOURCES:
AboutKidsHealth
http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/
Canadian Psychological Association
http://www.cpa.ca/cpasite/home.asp
Last reviewed November 2009 by Brian Randall, MD
Please be aware that this information is provided to supplement the care provided by your physician. It is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. CALL YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER IMMEDIATELY IF YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider prior to starting any new treatment or with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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