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Therapy vs. Coaching - By Ely Zimmerman, M.Ed., M.P.H. ICF Certified Coach Therapy
Therapy is usually focused on healing wounds of the past. Often those wounds result in present perceptions or behaviors that are problematical for the individual or those around them.
The emphasis in most therapy begins with uncovering the past with the goal of healing it and thus relieving the need for compensating behavior in the present. Learning new more adaptive behavior can occur either in therapy or in a coaching environment.
Coaching
Coaching is focused on goal-oriented change. In most instances the most effective means to change is by an iterative action, learning action cycle. I believe past experiences do shape perceptions, attitudes and strategies of the present. In coaching, I assume lessons from most past experience can be influenced by the client with insight, knowledge, new skills and new habits.
My primary tools in coaching are:
A keen ability to learn and understand the client’s world-view; a deep understanding of the processes of individual, family, group and organizational development; an intuitive grasp of systems and 35 years of diverse experience making changes in myself, helping others change and facilitating change in organizations.
By understanding the client’s perspective, I can offer new insights, new ways of seeing things, new problem definitions (and thus new potential solutions) and new tools to work with the issues. Each client must create or choose their own solutions. I am a very patient tutor and delight when a client feels empowered.
Friendship vs. Coaching
A friend of mine once asked me to describe exactly what I do as a coach. When I finished, Dennis, who has brilliance for both humor and hitting the nail on the head (though not always for elegance), said, “Oh, it’s kind of like rent-a-friend.”
Although he could have said it in a more flattering way, in essence, Dennis was right. There are powerful common elements that are fundamental to personal coaching and what we experience with a trusted friend.
But of course, there are significant differences as well. Coaching is a unique, powerful relationship for helping people make important change in their lives. It is unique and powerful for several reasons.
Unlike a friend or partner, in a coaching relationship we agree that the focus is always on you and what you want and there is no other agenda than yours. Friendships always involve mutual reciprocity and the relationship is often secondary to other priorities. In coaching, your reciprocal part is strictly financial and I am committed to giving you all my attention for the time you’ve scheduled.
Unlike a friend, I am professionally trained and skilled to help you make the change you want and in co-creating and maintaining the relationship with you. I understand the processes of change; I have tools and techniques to assist you and a wealth of life experience in making change myself and helping others to do so.
When Coaching Isn’t Enough
In both coaching and therapy, past experiences shape the attitudes and strategies of the present. In both, an understanding of one’s past is important to develop awareness of a full range of present choices and gain flexibility with unsatisfactory past patterns. To the extent that a client can gain and maintain awareness of a dysfunctional pattern, coaching is an appropriate process.
Sometimes, however, a client’s ability to gain or maintain awareness of past issues is limited to the extent that little choice or flexibility seems possible to them and this precludes new behavior. Biological or chemical factors or persistence in a belief of limited options or inability to change suggests psychotherapy may be a more appropriate choice at this point. In such instances, I will recommend seeking psychotherapy in addition to or instead of coaching.
