S-expert Advice

Kristy Villa:
We love it when we can make our show more interactive and get our viewers involved and a fun way to do just that is to have you send us your questions and then we bring in the right experts to answer them. So today, we are answering your questions about love. Love is in the air, romance, and spicing up what goes on in the bedroom; I’m loving this.

Our two s-experts are here again for the first segment in a 12-week series. We have with us Mary Wallace Jaensch and Rachel Braun Scherl from Semprae Laboratories. Good morning!

Mary Wallace Jaensch:
Good morning. It’s good to see you.

Rachel Braun Scherl:
Hi. How are you?

Kristy Villa:
Great to see you again. Now before we talk about these questions we do want to give you a heads up. We are going to keep this discussion very PG, you know, kind of Disney if you will, for those of you watching at home right now with maybe your kids, but you may want to consider the topics a little bit mature for young children. So we are just giving it a heads up.

Ladies, you know I recently hit the streets and I chatted with a lot of people who had so many questions when I told them you know, anything about romance, sex, love, and I think you are going to find them interesting. Let’s listen to question number one, shall we? All right, let’s take a look:

Question:
My husband seems to have a higher sex drive than I do. What can we do to fix it and be on the same page?

Kristy Villa:
All right, I think that’s pretty common, Mary?

Mary Wallace Jaensch:
Actually very common and what women often don’t realize is that things in their lives that can be decreasing their interest in sex; hormones. We always think about menopause, but in fact post-pregnancy hormones can have exactly the same effect and people don’t talk about it.

You can be taking certain medications, very common medications.

Kristy Villa:
Oral contraceptives.

Mary Wallace Jaensch:
Oral contraceptives, anti-depressants, what they don’t tell you is that they may have a side effect of making you less interested. And finally the one that I am sure is very common is stress. Life is complicated. You are tired. So it’s really important before you start worrying about, is it an inequity and the relationship to step back and say there are things I could fix. Talk to your doctor, go to the Internet, talk to a friend; see if there’s any information you can get about what might be changing things in your life.

Rachel Braun Scherl:
Before you just assume that the relationship is going downhill.

Kristy Villa:
Right, don’t get paranoid.

Rachel Braun Scherl:
Exactly.

Kristy Villa:
Excellent! Okay, we have another question from another viewer. Let’s take a look:

Question:
The great question is, what can I do to make sure that my relationship remains strong?

Kristy Villa:
Now I love when a man is interested in keeping that relationship strong rather than going out there and doing the wrong thing, right?

Rachel Braun Scherl:
I think it’s fabulous. We especially like when a man asks the question because it shows a real sense of interest and commitment. One of the things that we find is in some ways it’s the woman – she has her whole list of things on her priority list – it’s her career; it’s her kids; it’s her family, it’s essentially everything else but her relationship, including her physical relationship.

So the most important thing is to say this is something that’s important, that requires my time and energy and we are not trying to sugarcoat it and say that’s so easy, but if it’s not on the list it’s not going to get done; it’s not going to be a priority.

Mary Wallace Jaensch:
But to answer him specifically, what a lot of women tell us is it’s very easy. Men often think it takes flowers and perfume, but simply saying good morning to her, simply acknowledging that you know what her life is like, emptying the dishwasher.

Kristy Villa:
Make me dinner and I am yours tonight. I am yours forever, right?

Mary Wallace Jaensch:
Exactly.

Kristy Villa:
I agree. I think I just need that little, you know, I am special too, right?

Rachel Braun Scherl:
And when we share this with men and say, you know what, she really seems to like it if you rake the leaves, they say to us, “Really?” And we say it’s not that difficult. It’s not that hard a puzzle to crack.

Kristy Villa:
I hear you. When my husband sits down and helps me fold the clothes – Oh my Gosh, oh my gosh, I love you. Let’s listen to the next question:

Question:
Can anyone be faithful anymore? You hear about it all the time in the news with the celebrity couples. I see it with my own girlfriends. What is happening out there?

Kristy Villa:
Okay, great question. I am seeing it everywhere I look with my friends too.

Mary Wallace Jaensch:
And let’s be serious, infidelity is a whole lot more interesting so you see it on television a whole lot more, but it may go back to what we were talking about before is, if a woman isn’t putting the energy and effort into feeling good about herself in the context of her relationship and her sex life it can have an effect and she has to make that commitment because faithfulness is hard work. If you are in a long-term relationship it’s not something that just happens.

Kristy Villa:
Right, and it’s not just rosy. I mean, I always tell my friends, listen, this takes work. My husband and I are not perfect. We have been working at it, right?

Rachel Braun Scherl:
There are ups and downs and fidelity is absolutely a choice and takes commitment. You wouldn’t expect your children to be raised successfully to adulthood without some time and love and commitment and that’s really what it is, and it’s hard work – exactly as you said, it’s not always fun.

Mary Wallace Jaensch:
But put it on the list.

Rachel Braun Scherl:
Absolutely, at the top of the list.

Kristy Villa:
All right, let’s listen to the last question:

Question:
Is there anything easy, quick and simple that I can use to add vavoom into my sex life? I need it.

Kristy Villa:
I love quick. Quickies are pretty good, aren’t they.

Rachel Braun Scherl:
We like quick solutions. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a quick experience, but one of our favorite things is Zestra, which is a blend of botanical oils and extracts that’s topically applied to the woman or by her partner a couple of minutes before intimacy and it improves her arousal, desire and satisfaction. So as we like to say, everybody wins.

Kristy Villa:
And you have to be open to that, right?

Mary Wallace Jaensch:
Right, and just, you know, change it up a little bit. And I think another thing is simply to acknowledge yourself as a sexy woman. I don’t think most of us when we are involved in our kids and our days, that we take a moment, one minute, in front of the mirror and say, “You know what, you look pretty good today,” or “Wow, you feel pretty sexy”. So it’s an acknowledged fact that if you say that to yourself at least once a day out loud you will in fact feel better about yourself.

Rachel Braun Scherl:
And by the way, there is research that says women who have better and more active more satisfying sex lives look better and live longer.

Kristy Villa:
Well, I think that’s why I am looking better every day. Just kidding. Ladies, thank you so much. This was a lot of fun. We will see you next time, okay.

Mary Wallace Jaensch:
Absolutely.

Rachel Braun Scherl:
Alright.

Kristy Villa:
And if you want more information on Zestra go to Zestra.com and to send us your sex, love or romance question just go to the bouncingact.com; we will answer them for you, and next Wednesday be sure to tune in when two relationship experts join me and our s-experts with some tips for those who want to enhance a committed relationship. So be there for that.

Today’s show is brought to you in part by Zestra – a natural blend of botanical oils and extracts, clinically proven to enhance a woman’s desire, arousal and satisfaction. Experience the ‘Zestra rush’ for yourselves.

Tags:

• Sexual Health
• Sex & Relationships