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Your mother is 70-plus years old, showing signs of Alzheimer’s disease, and has been discharged from the hospital after a long illness. She now requires full-time care at home. You and your husband have careers of your own and you need to come to a decision and have everyone agree on what is the best for the family in the mid and long term. This is a dilemma faced increasingly by many families the world over.
Hard financial times often make it necessary for both men and women to work. Women also need to have their financial independence through following a career of choice, even if the home is financially comfortable. If you are a housewife and do not go out for work or are a work at home mother, caring for the old on a long-term basis could be very demanding on you and on the family fabric. What are your options at such a tricky time?
Before you broach the subject with your mother, it is important that you do some homework at your end. Some questions to ask yourself that will help you decide whether she needs to be sent for assisted living at all, are:
1. What advantages could your home offer to your mother?
2. What are the benefits you and your family can derive from a live-in aging parent?
3. Will you and your family be able to cope with this arrangement for long?
4. What will you need to sacrifice to give what is best for your mother?
5. How will it affect your relationship with your husband, family and friends?
6. What benefits a nursing home could offer to her?
7. What do the residential homes not always tell in their brochures but is the truth about their services and facilities? (Source: Dibbern & Dibbern Guide for Assisted Living and Senior Care; Topic: Considering a Nursing Home; Article Name: Unusual Questions to ask before Choosing a Nursing Home; URL: http://www.dibbern.com/nursing-homes/considering-nursing-home.htm)
8. What are the annual costs involved for assisted living?
9. What do your siblings say about the topic? Are they willing to help? How?