Celebrating the Holidays Even When Your Family Lives Far Away

By Jody Smith HERWriter

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Celebrating the Holidays Even When Your Family is Far Away

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I have lived most of my life in or near my hometown. But we run into the long-distance thing because many family members have moved away.

We see three of our children often. Two, though, live across the country with their families. We miss them a lot, especially during the holiday season. If it weren't for social media, it would be much harder. But we can show each other photos, and videos, and send messages and emails.

Shopping for gifts can be done online, or by catalogue, and delivered to their distant doors at the tap of a computer key (and a credit card number). Or with some planning to get things mailed off early enough, we buy some presents and saturate them with as much love as we can squeeze into the parcels.

We get to see photos of gifts being unwrapped, grandchildren's laughter and bright eyes and parents' smiles. Love is typed, spoken in a video chat, and thus exchanged.

Life was chaotic when all our kids used to be home for the holidays. Lots of people in the house, and usually they would come with their partners. The tree would be crowded with an avalanche of presents. A few of my kids would sit and shake the parcels, but that's another story.

Things were hectic but natural, I guess you could say. Now, with half the family living a long distance away, a little more advanced planning is necessary.

Those kids are not going to come bursting through the door any time soon, so it's important to plan the contact you want.

Do you want to Skype? Work out when you want to do it and make a date, everyone's December schedule fills up quickly. Want to share an actual morning or evening of gift opening and decorations? Make sure someone takes as many pictures or videos as possible, because if you forget till everything is done ... it's done.

Camera-shy? Prone to stage fright? Hate your hair? Does your mind go blank when you're put on the spot in front of a web cam or Skype screen? Too bad. Get over it. This is the way you can make contact, and it matters for your children as much as it does for you. Maybe more. Especially if they are the ones far from home.

Two of our daughters live a province or more away, and I think they and their families have adjusted to the distance from home pretty well. They have friends, co-workers, neighbors, family and surrogate family where they are. They have both made a point of having plenty of involvement with other people in their communities, for themselves and for their children.

If you live far from home, expand your horizons and cultivate new things in your life and in your personality. You may find yourself with a new group of friends who it will seem natural to bond with.

Can't go home for the holidays? Maybe you can go to your in-laws instead, or a cousin's or to visit special friends.

Some people will gravitate toward a church, or a community group. Do you belong to a group of writers, artists, or a knitting community? Have you had a hankering to join a little theater group?

Do you enjoy being of service? Community groups that fill and hand out food baskets and gifts of toys, coats, and warm woolies like scarves, mitts and hats can be very satisfying. People who are compassionate and always on the lookout for ways to nurture, are a great type to get to know.

Taking a class? Scope out your fellow students. If you see one (or more) that you feel an affinity toward, don't be shy, issue an invitation for coffee, or doing some holiday shopping together. Throw a dinner party, or invite people over for dessert.

Like holiday decorations? Deck your halls and put on some music of the season. Invite your neighbors over and strengthen a sense of community.

Maybe you can't be with your family for the holiday season. But there's no reason that you can't get creative and make where you are feel like home, and build new holiday traditions.

Visit Jody's website at http://www.ncubator.ca

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.