Father's Day Has Changed Over the Years, as Fathers Have

By Jody Smith HERWriter

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Father's Day Has Changed Over the Years, Just as Fathers Have

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Father's Day has changed with the passage of time, because by and large fathers have changed. An increasing number of dads are becoming more involved in the raising of their offspring than their fathers were when these new dads were children.

Some dads are staying home with the kids while moms are out working. Some others are sharing more of the workload at home because their wives are also sharing the burden of paying the bills.

A couple of generations ago, the Man of the House went out to work 40 hours or so a week, then came home and read the paper. At least, my dad did. I often thought that upright newspaper was more than just reading material. It seemed also to be a protective barrier between us and him.

Daddy has worked hard all day, don't bother him. His home is his castle. And so on.

I could do another whole article on the faulty information and implications of that. But that's for another time.

Modern-day dads seem not to be satisfied with fortification away from the children behind the wall of a newspaper, radio or television. Bless 'em for it.

I love seeing fathers playing with their children ... and cleaning up after their children too.

I know one dad who takes his infant daughter to swim lessons once a week, after he gets home from work.

I know another who doesn't hesitate to spend a Saturday taking over the care, feeding, watering and tidying up after of his toddler.

I know a man who used to help dress his small children on a regular basis, and who will be forever remembered for shaking them into their leotards like they were sacks of potatoes. Three little girls stood in line waiting their turn for this delightful ride.

To be fair, old-fashioned dads were not always in ivory towers. There have always been some earnest souls who have devoted their evenings and weekends to coaching teams of children, sometimes their own and sometimes the town's.

And some fathers who weren't so great at doing things with their progeny on a regular basis live on in family lore because every once in awhile they joined the gang.

My dad would occasionally take me and my brothers for a long walk. Sometimes neighbor kids would join the crowd -- because their dads never did such things.

One time we walked along the railroad track (don't worry, no trains were running) from our little town to the next little burg. Took a couple of hours and we were all regretting this adventure before we hit our destination.

It was hot and dusty and slow business. But my dad had promised us all a bottle of pop (you might call it soda) and that kept us going. Besides, once you've gone more than half way there's no point in turning around to go home, is there?

That promise of an oasis kept us going. And when we hit the only variety store in that little town, we luxuriated over our cold drinks, sitting on bar stools while he called my mom to drive around and pick us all up.

He would take us for walks in the fall in a local wooded area and in the winter out on the ice (don't worry the lake was frozen solid -- well mostly. I did get a soaker in one boot which, 50 years later, I have not let him forget.)

One year he made an ice rink in our backyard. He only did that once though. He'd grown up further north, where a freeze lasted all winter. We had since moved to a milder climate which mostly he enjoyed. Until he found his ice rink had become a pool for the rest of the balmy winter.

Back in those days, the cliches of ties and socks for Father's Day were the real deal. And dads by the thousands would dutifully thank the gift-givers for these boring presents. And then they had to barbecue.

I don't know if anybody gives those types of gifts anymore. I think for many families, Father's Day is a more fluid event. If he does end up with a tie, hopefully it's because he really wants one.

Maybe he wants tools, or toys or electronics. Maybe he likes to fish or shoot photographs. New clothes, favorite desserts, gift cards so he can pick out his own stuff, for the guy that likes them, these are all great gifts. And no barbecuing ... unless he wants to.

The world has become more bewildering as change has come to the old stereotypes, but this has also made room for more flexibility, and less pressure to fit someone else's stereotype.

To all you guys everywhere, from old-school patriarchs to modern-day involved dads, Happy Father's Day.

Visit Jody's website at http://www.ncubator.ca

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