It's not unusual for the offspring of a troubled relationship to breathe a sigh of relief if their parents get divorced. But some occasions actually get stickier. Mother's Day is a great example of this.
Is your father remarried, or does he have a girlfriend — or more than one? Do you, as an adult offspring, divide up the day? Should you?
Ideally, a child will have double the benefits of having two moms with two different personalities, living situations and relationships. Of course, things don't necessarily work this way.
Every situation is unique, and only you ultimately can decide how to handle it.
Does the thought of seeing either of them upset you? Do not force yourself to do something that is unhealthy for you or for your children.
So long as there is no danger of harm, the main considerations boil down to respect. This focus will help the apparent complications to fall away, and help you to feel confident and secure in whatever you decide.
1) Stay true to the individuals involved.
If you want to do something for Mother's Day for your mom or moms, base your decisions on what you know about each of them, about yourself, and about the history of your relationships.
It's more important to honor them as individuals than to do some traditional thing you know they don't care about.
2) Don't combine tributes for both women into one event.
Big no-no. If you love them (or even just one of them) don't ask them to share a space on Mother's Day.
3) Do all these parents live near you? Can you visit them both that weekend?
Take Stepmom out for lunch on Saturday. Treat Mom to dinner on Sunday. Win-win.
4) Not everyone likes going out on Mother's Day.
Restaurants are so crowded on Mother's Day. They may prefer that you visit them at their homes. Do you have a gift for your mom? Then I'm sure you will also have a present for stepmom.
5) Is one mom nearby, while the other is long-distance?
If one is in town, she's a perfect target for a visit.
Mother's Day Etiquette for The Divorced. Empowher.com. Retrieved May 5, 2016.