We put such a high emphasis on sexual chemistry, sexual satisfaction, and sexual compatibility that I believe, sometimes, we lose sight almost completely of just straight-up affection. I am not, in any way, downplaying the importance of compatibility in the sexual arena, because, well, I know how mighty it is.... I am just exploring the importance of compatibility when it comes to affection as well.
Some people, for example, just don't like to hold hands when they walk down the road with their lover. Others do. Sometimes one wanting to and the other not can lead to tremendous issues, problems, feelings of rejection, pain and awkwardness. Sometimes one person will literally walk ahead of the other person in the street, and the person left behind will be walking quickly to catch up, wishing they were walking side by side, maybe holding hands or with their arms around one another? It's true. It may seem simple but this level of affection is crucial and compatibility or lack thereof, in this area can make or break a relationship.
The perfect example for me, is the following: In my previous relationship, we were out of sync in terms of affection. No matter what the mood between us was, holding hands was awkward at best and just didn't happen mostly. I was often, frequently left in the dust as my partner trudged ahead of me whether we were walking along the beach, in the middle of a vacation in Louisiana, or hurrying to the subway in NYC. I simply never felt we were doing anything together, at the same pace, in unison.
This carried over into the bedroom where, while we had a comfortable enough bed, it was never big enough. Finally at the largest size, some years into our relationship, a California King Size bed still didn't seem big enough - with all the tossing, turning, awkward feelings and lack of compatibility, we couldn't get far enough away from each other. I was a cuddler and he was not, and never the twain shall meet.
When I went off on my own, purchasing furniture was a profound experience for me.