Booty Call Nightmare

I didn't know what it was for the longest time. I'm not sure anyone does until they either
a) decide to make one or
b) receive one but, essentially, the "booty call" is a call for no-strings-attached sex, like, sex without expectations of a relationship, a date, or, in some cases, even conversation.

I'm not saying it doesn't have its place in the pantheon of human sexuality and need. Non-committal, easy going sex is fun; it can be lighthearted, even healing!

But a booty call situation can easily turn into a nightmare if one or both of the adventurers develops feelings beyond the playful, quickie tempo of the booty call. As human beings, we are hardwired for emotion; we attach and bond as a matter of course. Of course we've always historically put women in the role of the bonded and attached and the "player" male in the role of her wounder. But the roles are stereotyped, outdated even. Women can play the field with other women and with men, as can men with each other and women. Sometimes there is simply a misunderstanding "I thought we were developing a relationship" No, no, we weren't. I thought it was just a booty call.
The danger of the booty call is that the very notion of becoming bonded or attached is sometimes mocked, denigrated, reduced to something weak and tepid, laughable, even shameful. When people are honest about their desire for non-committal sex yet still willing to honor the possibility of emotional flux, that's maturity. But when the "Booty Call" turns into a nightmare, it's often due to a true imbalance in a person's perception of emotional involvement as uncool, or something to be ashamed of.
Engaging in booty call behavior is like playing with fire. It's hot, gorgeous and exciting, but you can very, very easily get burned. Not being honest about what you want may actually be PART of the booty call itself, as many who engage in this type of sexuality are always looking for an angle, a manipulation, a way in and then quickly back out. Saying things you are certain the other person wants to hear, paying close attention just long enough to get what you want and then dropping it like it's hot can be one of the most painful experiences possible for the person being "played."
So, enjoy yourself and have safe, responsible fun, but please remember, a romp in the bedroom can lead to a world of hurt if you are deceived and hypnotized and choose to believe someone's lies.

Aimee Boyle had to google the term "booty call" in her attempt to figure out what the heck was happening at one point in time.

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• Sex & Relationships