We’ve all been there: an ignorant comment or misinterpreted joke, a too-late realization that there is sauce splattered on your chin, an awkward handshake-hug-kiss-combination during your goodbye – the bottom line is that everyone believes first dates are difficult and social blunders are an inherent part of the experience. This doesn’t mean that you are a terrible person. Or not worth dating. So cut yourself some slack.
Just as importantly, maybe you can cut your date some slack.
As a society, we have all become certified experts at analyzing others’ behaviors and appearances. We read into the smallest Freudian slip and develop strong opinions on the implications of someone’s gait, handwriting style or astrological sign. This judgment is magnified in a first date setting, not only because the person is someone we are interested in spending concentrated time with, but also because we know they are making the same assumptions, assessments and judgments about us!
While there are certain behaviors you should consider to be deal-breakers on the first date (reference my previous article!), there are also several things we have historically considered to indicate a failed date, but perhaps no longer should. Through extensive consultation with a group of dating experts, we managed to put together the list below. Of course, every person and date situation is different, but these are behaviors that you may want to consider more carefully before immediately deciding to toss your date to the curb.
Deal-Breaker Myth #1:
Your date talks about politics or religion.
In past worlds, being too upfront about your opinion was considered a first-meeting faux pas. However, as we accept and embrace the fact that politics and belief-systems are inherently tied into our daily activities, aspirations, and the way we view the world or interact with others, not talking about politics or religion can sometimes mean you are left with very little that is meaningful to say! Discussing "real" topics will help you to understand where your date is coming from. And if you disagree? Not necessarily a deal-breaker, but rather a chance to learn more.