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Is It Love or Lust? How to Tell the Difference

By HERWriter
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Love or Lust? How to Tell the Difference PS Productions/PhotoSpin

Like Anastasia Steele of "Fifty Shades of Grey" or Carrie from "Sex and The City," we’ve all had our share of love and lust experiences. When you are being led by your loins or inexperience, it is hard to distinguish the difference between the two.

Most of the time, you might be flattered by the attention of an attractive individual which could immediately lead to the bedroom.

Some people are extremely vulnerable to lust because they mistake it for love. They like the idea of being in love, and quite frankly, some would rather enjoy the attention from a lust relationship than be alone. Sometimes this can be a recipe for disaster and heartache.

Lust is a deep physical attraction with goals of instant gratification. Love can also have an attraction, but that attraction is more than skin-deep.

Love wants to hold your hand when you feeling sick, and love runs out to buy you a burrito at 1 a.m. when you are pregnant and craving.

It is very easy to confuse love and lust, but at the same time there are some clear signs to distinguish the two intoxicating feelings. Here are some questions to ask about your relationship:

• Are you in it for the long haul? If you are thinking long term, it is probably love.

• What are you hoping to find? If you are looking for a nurturing experience, it might be love.

• Is it physical or emotional? If it is physical, it may be lust.

According to New York Times bestseller, Dr. Judith Orloff, there are some clear signs of love and lust. Here are her signs and indicators to help you identify which you're dealing with:

Signs of Love

• You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.

• He or she motivates you to be a better person.

• You want to spend quality time together other than sex.

• You want to honestly listen to each other’s feelings, make each other happy.

• You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.

Signs of Lust

• You are lovers, but not friends.

• You’re interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.

• You’re totally focused on a person’s looks and body.

We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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