The More I See You

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How do you keep the flames of love alive? This question may be as old as love itself. The lyrics to an old Nat King Cole song--reprised by Michael Buble--that is one of my favorites spell out the magic of loving someone even more throughout the years:
“The more I see you, the more I want you, somehow this feeling, just grows and grows…”
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/n/nat+king+cole/the+more+i+see+you_20098104.html

In certain romantic relationships, the feeling of love grows stronger every day while in others it wanes and fizzles out, or the resentment builds to a boiling point, spilling all over everything and melting the fabric of your life together.

When you begin to love someone so deeply that you feel you love them even more, and in different ways than you did earlier, it’s a kind of love journey with no end in sight. You don’t grow apart from one another, instead, you grow together, while still making room for your own roots, branches, and ideas.

One element of growing together and lovingly with someone is opening up the floodgates of communication. A person who can listen deeply and talk freely is a person ready for a fully loving relationship. If your significant other is the one person you really want to talk with and share your heart with about any number of issues; from the recent assassination of Osama bin Laden to the dream you have of going blonde; from the broken water heater to the dog’s diet, then you’ve got yourself a soul mate.

It’s less magic and more active listening and caring, although don’t get me wrong, falling in love is a spiritual experience full of the mysteries of human nature and wanting to sustain a life with someone is equally charmed with unknowable spiritually and infusions of destiny.

But thinking aloud with someone, talking things out, having the quality in your relationship where complete honesty, trust and a kind of “I’m on your side no matter what” feeling is prevalent throughout can really sustain a sense of loyalty and love that cultivates the feeling of bonding and growing together for as long as you both shall live.

When I met my husband we talked all night on our second “date” and have been together ever since. I remember feeling, that night, “I want this person in my life, no matter what the relationship. Even if it’s just as a friend, I want him with me on this journey; I want him as my close friend.”

The fact that it quickly became much, much more than that was a miracle of sorts; but the deep sense of peace and love and laughter I felt in just talking for hours and knowing I wanted his company as a person is the profound foundation of our connection.

Aimee Boyle lives and writes in CT. She is a regular contributor to EmpowHER.

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