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Real Men Do Not Cheat--An Editorial

By HERWriter
 
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The month of May’s evening news was filled with infidelity headlines. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dominique Strauss-Kahn officially inducted themselves into the "infidelity hall-of-fame." Other members greeting Schwarzenegger and Strauss-Kahn included: Eliot Spitzer, Tiger Woods, Jesse James, former President Bill Clinton and former Senator John Edwards.

All of these men have respectable jobs, status, wealth and power. At the time of their infidelity, they were all married to smart, attractive and beautiful women.

"Men and women with power tend to have an overinflated sense of confidence which allows them to think they'll get away with bad behavior," said Dr. Oren Amitay, a Toronto-based clinical psychologist.

Adultery is immune to the size of your paycheck. For example, a study from Cornell University stated "men who depend on their wives or girlfriends for financial stability are five times more likely to cheat than men who are not dependent."

Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a therapist from The Family Institute at Northwestern University stated in an interview, “He may turn away from the marriage because he feels like he’s failing in that provider role, and he may seek that ego boost elsewhere.”

One very sad statistic from an infidelity study claimed 60 percent of married men cheat on their wives.

Marriage counselor, M. Gary Neuman said, "For men, the issue is about winning."

Like many of you, I am tired of hearing about men behaving badly. These men make headlines for creating havoc in their marriages and family life. They do not think or care about the long -term consequences of their actions. Those consequences may include destroying a relationship with their spouse and family.

No one wins in an affair. It is a lose-lose situation for all parties involved. The long reaching tentacles of infidelity create pain and anguish to the spouse, children and even the adulteress.

In some cultures, it is status to maintain a wife and a mistress. Committing adultery is emotional abuse.

If you think your husband is going to tell you about an affair, think again. Neuman’s research stated only seven percent of men verbally volunteered information about their affair. And, a whopping 55 percent of men lied about having an affair if they were confronted by their spouses.

Every marriage will face challenges of life. Money, employment or non-employment, health issues, and parenting may become speed bumps in your marriage.

Taking the vow of marriage means you are a team. And to have a healthy marriage, you have to communicate and work together. Also, providing emotional support to your partner is key. Praise your partner for his hard work. You have to stay and remain positive in your marriage. A successful marriage manages the speed bumps of life.

Neuman said, "It's not about making your man happy and pleasing him.
It's about you bringing out the best in your husband so that you get a lot of love and affection—what you want from this marriage."

Real men do not cheat. Real men honor the relationship and their partner by being faithful during the marriage.

Sources:
http://articles.cnn.com/2008-10-03/living/o.why.men.cheat_1_cheating-gary-marriage-counselor?_s=PM:LIVING
http://edmonton.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20110519/why-men-cheat-110519/20110519/?hub=EdmontonHome
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Why-Men-Cheat_2
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Affair-Proof-Your-Marriage/1

Reviewed June 2, 2011
Edited by Alison Stanton

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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