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Summertime Destination Sex

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“Let's make love, let's go somewhere they might discover us. ...”

“We rendezvous out on the fire escape...”

“Going down on you in a theater...”

“I wanna kiss you underneath the stars. ...”

John Legend, Alanis Morissette and many other musicians have written songs about sex-in-public. Couples are planning to engage in sexual behaviors that are outside the privacy of their own bedrooms, and are looking for places for “destination sex”. Similar to the ever-popular “destination weddings”, destination sex can create some real head-turning discussions!

Destination sex refers to sexual activities, and does not necessarily equate to intercourse. As with any sexual behavior, there is a continuum of behaviors that include a wide variety of activities such as kissing, playful touching and caressing. Have you ever seen a couple dancing, and wished they would “get a room”? Perhaps dancing was their foreplay; the dance floor their destination!

Elevators, airplanes (“mile high club”), caverns/caves, parks, movie theaters, car (parked!), whether your friends are providing factual information about their destinations, or are providing story-telling entertainment, you can create a fun and safe environment. The excitement and pleasure of sex-in-public includes some of the risks of being discovered...but let’s talk about how to minimize the risks and gain the benefits of spicing up our sex lives.

Mutually monogamous does not mean monotonous.
Many movies, stereotypically aimed at men, suggest how boring it is to be with the same woman for years. Please know that this is a stereotype, and whereas some broad generalizations are true, there are just as many men, as women, who are interested in finding that one special person to share their life with. Making someone sexually excited and feel pleasure when you love them is intoxicating, and this can happen anywhere. Knowing your relationship is mutually monogamous (both individuals have only one sexual partner) can be exciting in and of itself.

How to choose a destination? Share your fantasies first!

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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