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Under Pressure: How Badly Do You Want a Husband?

By HERWriter Guide
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Apparently, a woman in Ohio wants a husband very badly. Audrey Scott was so desperate that she called 911 five times in the space of an hour, demanding that someone find her a husband. She was ultimately jailed for three days on a class 4 misdemeanor for her actions. Taking full responsibility, she admitted she had been drinking, but it was apparent that her single status has been on her mind for some time. Most people have found her story to be a mix of annoyance that she wasted the services of 911 this way, and a little laughter over the kind of "emergency" she claimed she had.

This story made me wonder, however, about the apparent urgency many women still have over finding a husband. In this day and age, when many women (and men) choose not to marry at all, or simply room with their partners, there is still an overwhelming desire for many to get married, and a near panic when time passes with no husband in sight. I saw a commercial recently from T-Mobile where one young woman promises to add her grandmother to her calling plan, on the premise that she’ll stop nagging her to get a husband. “She’s 35!,” says the grandmother.
Apparently there's a magic age to get married and an age (she’s 35!) that signals a woman needs to worry that Mr. Right isn't trotting up the aisle.

But milestone ages like 25, 30 and 40 certainly seem to give many women (and those who nag them) food for thought. Why am I not married? Am I not worthy? Jane Smith got married last year and she only has four teeth! Family and friends aren’t usually much help. They can pry and nag, assuming their loved-one must be doing something wrong. She won’t try, she won’t dress up, she’s too picky. About that last one – making a legal and social commitment to be with someone for life, as well as possibly having and raising children together would tend to make one (hopefully) rather picky. Would it be better to find someone at a rave and announce a pregnancy six weeks later? And how come we don’t pick on the single guys so much? How come they get to be bachelors and women get to be spinsters?

Articles on the internet include instructions on how to find a husband, including many "don'ts".

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HERWriter Guide

Susan - I was appalled when I read the news story about this woman, then felt sad for her in being so desperate that she would get drunk and call 911 with her "emergency." I thought we had moved past the notion that "a woman is nothing without a man" a long time ago. Certainly there is a lot of data today on the ways women have advanced in life, including obtaining higher levels of education; gaining a wider variety of choices in ways to be economically self-sufficient and even trends that show women are remaining single, by choice, for a longer period. This level of desperation is baffling, just like calling 911 for anything other than a real emergency.

June 9, 2010 - 6:50pm
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