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What’s Got Your Libido Down? Is it Psychological?

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Most married couples have sexual problems at one time or another during their relationship. And even though you can talk about almost everything else, sex (or lack of it) can be a tough issue to discuss. The good news is there are ways to resolve these issues and get your sex life back on the right track.

First, let’s look at psychological issues:

Control Your Stress. If you have a stressful job, money troubles, health issues, or any other life-problems that are frequently worrisome, it’s important to find a way to manage your anxiety.

If that seems impossible, it’s time to seek counseling or a doctor to help sort through these issues and get you back on track. Studies have shown that having sex can be a good de-stressor, so you might consider having sex with your partner as a great stress reliever.

Eliminate Distractions. Do you have kids knocking on your bedroom door, pets jumping on the bed, a cell phone ringing, TV in the room you don’t think you can go without, or a laptop calling your name? Any of these issues can cause sleep problems as well as dampening your mood.

It’s time to de-distract your bedroom. Remove everything that might be an interruption except you and your spouse ... and maybe a sensually-scented candle burning nearby.

Get rid of resentment. Do you get tired of picking up after him and does he get sick of hearing you nagging about it? If that’s the case, resentment doesn’t usually go away at bed time. You need to get whatever is bothering you out in the open before it eats away at you and cause bigger problems.

Most times spouses (men and women) don’t know what’s bugging you unless you spell it out. Don’t let the small things get in the way. If it’s a bigger problem such as cheating or some other trust issue, counseling should be considered as a healthy option.

Depression. Some consider depression as a medical problem rather than a psychological issue. No matter which way it is categorized, depression can be a double-edged sword when it comes to healthy sex drive. One who’s clinically depressed may have a diminished sex drive and often antidepressants will dampen libido.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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