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Women: Pay Special Attention to Pre-Wedding Doubts

By HERWriter Guide
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women should listen to their doubts before the wedding Taras Yakovyn/PhotoSpin

Most people get pre-wedding jitters. Maybe even a doubt or two.

If we're seriously investing in a marriage, we want it to last. We care more about the marriage than the wedding.

We need to make sure we can remain faithful -- sexually, emotionally and financially -- to our spouse. Do we want children, and do we agree on how to raise them?

Some of these jitters are fine -- in fact, they're important.

Marriage should be a serious thing and walking into it blindly is a really bad idea. Making sure that all the fundamentals are in place before the big day can pay off in the form of a long and happy union.

But doubts -- real doubts -- about marriage before taking the actual step require less time worrying about centerpieces and favors (two things I've never recalled from any wedding I've ever been to!) and far more time reflecting on marital expectations, both with the woman on her own, and with her partner.

In a new study, researchers found that women who have doubts before marriage are at greater risk of divorce than men who may have doubts.

According to research from UCLA that has been published in the Journal of Family Psychology it's women in particular who might face divorce if they have these doubts, rather than men.

UCLA researchers studied the marriage outcomes of over 200 couples in California and found that women who had these doubts were 2.5 times more likely to divorce within four years than women who didn't have these kinds of jitters.

While the men interviewed were more likely to have jitters (47 percent of them compared to 38 percent of women), it was the female concern that proved divorce more likely to happen.

Here are other findings from the study:

36 percent of the couples had doubt-free days or weeks leading up to their wedding. Only 6 percent of them were divorced within four years.

10 percent of couples where just the man had had doubts became divorced within four years.

18 percent of couples where just the woman had doubts became divorced within the same period.

20 percent of couples where both had had doubts became divorced within four years.

Add a Comment1 Comments

Why doubts in the first place. From the day you decided to marry that man you should cultivate more faith in the marriage. If you have doubts you will sink - that's a truism.

October 3, 2012 - 11:32pm
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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