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The battle cry of the mighty warrior queen rings throughout the land "Do Not Objectify Us! Do Not Treat Us As Narcissistic Extensions of Your Fragile Ego!"
And thus, the war waged continuously in the name of alerting men to the fact that women are, in fact, thinking, feeling, breathing, questioning, laboring, laughing, breathing human beings rages on.
Yet how often do we take the time to look at the ways in which women objectify men? The idea of a male stripper is a caricature of this idea; while it may be fun to watch nubile, fit male strippers parade about and dance suggestively, I have an inkling women's objectification of men is less concrete, more abstract and far deeper than that.
There's a service in my town that allows women to call up and get their household mechanical needs met; everything from changing a light bulb to repairing roofs; no job too small, it's called "Honey Do," as in, "Honey, do the drain in the sink, it's been clogged for weeks."
There is a cultural hangover of dependence, need and a desire to be rescued in which men are objectified by women not as strippers, per se, but as domestic saviors, knights-with-wrenches, good guys who come and repave your driveway, who make a lot of money and still have that youthful charm, who will read to the kids in their pajamas and start the coffee for you in the morning.
While many of us won't admit it, we are as judgmental, critical and angry when our men fall short of these images and wishes we carry around as men are when we gain twenty pounds, appear haggard and spent, nagging the kids to brush their teeth and want sleep instead of sex.
If you listen to women talk about men it can be quite scathing. We blanche upon hearing the foul language and cold tone in the conversations of men with regard to women's bodies and their sexual appeal; but listen to a group of girls or women discussing every flaw, every nuance, every shortcoming of a boy or man they are dating/seeing/flirting with/engaged/married to, and you will be able to deduce that while women are often speaking from a place of justice rather than mojo, their indignant perfectionism is a thing of intensity and, yes, objectification.
For when we assume a man should be all of these things we want them to be, aren't we ignoring their thinking, feeling, laughing, struggling, flawed selves?
For more, click on the following link: http://howtotellifaguyisajerk.blogspot.com/2007/08/objectifying-men.html
In the end, if it's unconditional acceptance and real love we want (and, true, perhaps we do not in certain cases) we have to ask ourselves if that's the kind of feeling we're willing to give, as well.
Add a Comment2 Comments
I agree. As part of another forum, I recently read a thread titled "do you cook/serve your husbands dinner?" ... Well, I do cook and I serve my husband his dinner. It's just the way it's always been in my house. Not because he has said "I am the man of the house and you will serve me" I just don't see it any other way. But clearly some women with a chip on their shoulder went back to say "absolutely not. Why should I?" These women go on to sound angry, bitter, and scorn when they refer to men and THESE ARE THEIR HUSBANDS.
We generalize men, we call them cheaters, players, and all kinds of condescending names...But let a man call us by what we really are and we get defensive, catty, and insulting. I've had this conversation with my husband many times... and I'm glad you posted this article.
September 22, 2009 - 6:16amThis Comment
Susan,
I couldn't agree more and it's amazing that we also continue to repress ourselves by prettying up our sexuality and sexy thoughts by placing flaxen wigs and English accents upon it!
I am going immediately to your thread, and, as usual, enjoying every last word.
Wonderful, profound insights.
Thanks, you always give me reasons to think and to smile!
Aimee
September 22, 2009 - 2:53amThis Comment