Facebook Pixel

Boys Gone Wild: How Do Women Objectify Men?

Rate This

The battle cry of the mighty warrior queen rings throughout the land "Do Not Objectify Us! Do Not Treat Us As Narcissistic Extensions of Your Fragile Ego!"
And thus, the war waged continuously in the name of alerting men to the fact that women are, in fact, thinking, feeling, breathing, questioning, laboring, laughing, breathing human beings rages on.

Yet how often do we take the time to look at the ways in which women objectify men? The idea of a male stripper is a caricature of this idea; while it may be fun to watch nubile, fit male strippers parade about and dance suggestively, I have an inkling women's objectification of men is less concrete, more abstract and far deeper than that.

There's a service in my town that allows women to call up and get their household mechanical needs met; everything from changing a light bulb to repairing roofs; no job too small, it's called "Honey Do," as in, "Honey, do the drain in the sink, it's been clogged for weeks."

There is a cultural hangover of dependence, need and a desire to be rescued in which men are objectified by women not as strippers, per se, but as domestic saviors, knights-with-wrenches, good guys who come and repave your driveway, who make a lot of money and still have that youthful charm, who will read to the kids in their pajamas and start the coffee for you in the morning.

While many of us won't admit it, we are as judgmental, critical and angry when our men fall short of these images and wishes we carry around as men are when we gain twenty pounds, appear haggard and spent, nagging the kids to brush their teeth and want sleep instead of sex.

If you listen to women talk about men it can be quite scathing.

Add a Comment3 Comments

I agree. As part of another forum, I recently read a thread titled "do you cook/serve your husbands dinner?" ... Well, I do cook and I serve my husband his dinner. It's just the way it's always been in my house. Not because he has said "I am the man of the house and you will serve me" I just don't see it any other way. But clearly some women with a chip on their shoulder went back to say "absolutely not. Why should I?" These women go on to sound angry, bitter, and scorn when they refer to men and THESE ARE THEIR HUSBANDS.

We generalize men, we call them cheaters, players, and all kinds of condescending names...But let a man call us by what we really are and we get defensive, catty, and insulting. I've had this conversation with my husband many times... and I'm glad you posted this article.

September 22, 2009 - 6:16am


I couldn't agree more and it's amazing that we also continue to repress ourselves by prettying up our sexuality and sexy thoughts by placing flaxen wigs and English accents upon it!

I am going immediately to your thread, and, as usual, enjoying every last word.

Wonderful, profound insights.

Thanks, you always give me reasons to think and to smile!


September 22, 2009 - 2:53am
HERWriter Guide


As usual, you hit the nail on the head. Wait, that's carpentry - that's a man's work!

Women are as wonderful and awful to men as they are to us. And we women, thinking that men don't "feel" like we do, think that we can get away with calling men stupid, lazy, a loser and worse - and for some reason that's just "venting". If they do it to us, we're screaming "verbal abuse".

I think we women need to really take stock of our own behaviors towards our men. If we are equal to men in all things, then that includes accountability. For all our strength, we also enjoy playing the victim at times. When I hear women vent about their men, I listen - I try to be objective and helpful - but I also find myself wishing I could hear his version too. I think it would clarify things a lot.

I'm not saying that we women are in any way worse than men - or that men are victims in any way. I just think we're as guilty of so- called bad behaviors as they are.

With regard to objectifying men - we do it all the time. We say that men have their porn - but so do we - even more so, in the form of erotic and romance novels. Here's an excerpt of my thoughts on this particular subject from another thread: "women have their own "porn" for years, in the form of romantic novels. Billions of these novels are purchased and read by women every year, in more than one hundred countries. In these, the men are strong, virile and very masculine. The stories are powerful and very sexual in nature. Sexual activity is described in great detail - women fantasize about them and carry these fantasies into the bedroom with their real partners.

Romance novels known as Erotica are in high demand and the vast majority of readers are women. These books are strongly sexual in nature and millions are sold and read by women annually. "Paranormal" romance is an enormous market, involving vampires, ghosts and demons. More than half of all fictional books sold are "romance" novels.
But because this novels are in black and white, and there are no visual or graphic pictures - it's acceptable. The only difference between visual porn and the of paperback "romance" books sold every year is how it's presented. But both a pornographic in nature.

Believe me, we women have our own porn - much of it quite graphic - we've just made it to look different so that we can pass it off as literature."

Women need to be highly valued, because, like the hair commercials state, we're worth it! But so too are our men. We just want our men to accept us as we are, right? Don't they feel the same way? And when each sex accepts that, and stops fighting it, we'll all be happier.

September 21, 2009 - 12:47pm
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!