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Fake it Till You Make it: The Elusive Big "O"

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So it's 11:30 on a Friday night and you are blissfully alone, or so you'd like to imagine, with no pressing plans, so you tell yourself, and nothing to keep you from having the peace you've been striving for all week, or so you say. After the second bowl of ice-cream which you promise yourself you will exercise off the following morning, you succumb to the hum of the television; remote all set, covers tucked just so, pillows and comfy sweats your silent companions.

You flip through old Woody Allen movies from 1983 and Men in Black... nothing, nothing... you realize yes, yes you do get all of those wonderful movie channels in the higher numbers.

Showtime, even! Wait, what's this? Cancun Play Time - ? Never heard of it. Let's see.... oh.... hmmmmmm. Late night, Friday night porn peddled by the movie channels for your viewing pleasure. You decide once and for all to get over yourself and watch the thing - no one is around, you're tired, what's all the fuss about anyway? You consider it to be educational, a sort of homework.

They look lovely, actually, the lovers on the screen; nothing sadistic or fetish oriented in any way. She's beautiful, not underage, seems to be really enjoying herself. Quite enjoying herself, really. Your insecurities pop up quickly, furiously, you think, "why IS she enjoying herself that much? Why is she screaming that way? I've NEVER screamed that way?" Suddenly it's all too much; the silky brunette on the screen appearing to have 30 or 40 mind-shattering orgasms which leave her in a perspiration-lathered trance and you lay there, all knitted brow and consternation, wondering where your mind-shattering orgasms may be. Perhaps they're under the bed.

The next time you have sex you decide to fake it, to act like the woman in your Friday night featurette. "Wow," your laboring, heavy-breathing handsome, sexy partner says huskily in your ear, "Youre REALLY into this right now, aren't you?" "Yea, ohhhhhhh, yea, baby, its soooooo good" you aren't quite CHEESY, but you really slather on the good attitude, after all, that woman on the program was SCREAMING for criminy sake.

Add a Comment4 Comments

HERWriter Guide

Great article, Aimee! I like your humor! And truly, like you say, if women really screamed like they way they do in "movies" I think 911 would be lit up from dusk till dawn!

PS - How do you those women in soft porn (or any porn) are faking it?!

I saw the Bunny Ranch prostitutes interviewed and many said that they don't actually fake all their orgasms with "clients". The say that some are actually real.

I don't know if that is true but that's what they said and they are usually very (and brutally!) honest women!

May 1, 2009 - 12:37pm
(reply to Susan Cody)

Hi Susan!
I appreciate your comment... I have no idea whether or not the women in the media are faking or not - all I know is I'VE had to question my own level of excitement when I see and hear them... I am envious not judgemental.. Happy O's to you!

May 1, 2009 - 1:15pm
EmpowHER Guest

I love this! While it made me laugh out loud I also think this is so so true. Often if I am not in the mood I find if I "fake it" for a few minutes I get in the mood very fast.

May 1, 2009 - 12:20pm
(reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon!
Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad it made you laugh! - I totally agree "faking it" is not all bad at all.
Work that mood!

May 1, 2009 - 1:13pm
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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