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Who knew the cure for some really big problems is right under our nose and between our legs. Yup, according a recent post by Penelope Trunk, people who have orgasms earn more, hang out with higher powered people, are better at public speaking, and walk with a more confident gait.
Of course, there’s always a hitch. Or in this case, a gap—the "orgasm gap."
Reports Hannah Seligson in the Daily Beast: "Women are shattering political glass ceilings, surpassing men in the workforce, and even winning Indy-car races. But there's one area where the gender gap has proved particularly stubborn: The orgasm gap."
Paula England, a professor of sociology at Stanford University, says the orgasm gap is as serious as the pay gap and “it’s producing a rampant culture of sexual asymmetry.”
Wow. “Sexual asymmetry!” That sounds so serious. How did we end up here?
One theory has to do with the oral sex inequity. Ladies, stop giving so much and getting nothing enough back. I'm serious!
Another issue: men are still twice as likely to climax as women. In hookup situations men are twice as likely to orgasm than women (wild guess here, but could this be connected to the above-mentioned inequity?). In the context of relationships, women orgasm about 80% as often as men. Other research shows a third of women never had an orgasm during intercourse.
Sadly, we’re all too familiar with the source of the problem. Just like with housework, men don’t pull their weight on the orgasm front because no one makes them.
So here’s my final advice on the matter:
1. Pass on booty oral sex. As one man explained it, a guy “doesn’t really give a shit” about you with a causal hookup. So why do him any favors?
2. If you want to orgasm, take it seriously and assert yourself. Forget the women-as-passive-receiver stuff and get in there, take responsibility, and make it happen.
3. The clitoris and the penis have the same tissue. This is always a good opening line in explaining to a guy how it all works.
4. Try products that stimulate nerve endings, such a G Clitoral Stimulating Gel (my favorite).
5. Try a little nagging. Hey, if it didn't work, we would have stopped doing it a long time ago, right?
6. If all else fails, find yourself a new guy. And make sure he’s rich. The London Times reports that the men who are best at giving women orgasms are also the richest men. (And you thought it was just about diamonds.)
About Pamela Tames
Everyone knows you only talk about sex in secret. Everyone but me that is. I’m Pamela Tames and you can hear more about my take on sex and the older woman at http://seasonedsex.com/. Who’s doing it, how they’re doing it, and what keeps them doing it. Now, for those all thinking, ‘that’s got to be one short website,’ let me respectfully say, ‘oh, so wrong.’ Just see for yourself.
Add a Comment7 Comments
Sex is not something that must be done regularly or routinely. This mindset just kills all the excitement and fun out of sex dating. I have read this interesting story about sex tips. :)
May 12, 2010 - 11:01pmThis Comment
Hi Pamela, we've talked about the whole menopause/ orgasm thing. It was so hard for me to even think about sex let alone having an orgasm. Things were quite different for me then. Since then, I've learned so much about the female body and how it works. I need that little kick of testosterone every day and it certainly increased my sex drive. Not to mention my muscle tone, brain function and lubrication. I'm so glad you're writing about this because its so important for us women to keep our sexuality and feel good in all health areas of our life. The message here is to never settle for less than you deserve, which in turn means you should feel fabulous at any age! If you tell me you're feeling fine and your sex life is fine ...then I'm going to tell you "fine" isn't good enough! Thanks for sharing Pamela and for being one of EmpowHer's HerWriters. We all love reading your stories. Big hugs,
August 22, 2009 - 9:59amM
This Comment
Awwww...love that comment...now that's what "empowherment" is all about...living life on your own terms! Pamela
August 24, 2009 - 12:29pmThis Comment
Yes, check out my videos on this site where I talk about testosterone. Also, go to seasonedsex.com and search on "menopause" and other topics related to sex drive, orgasm, etc. Finally, I've got a book pending publication, ridethepinkelephant.com. Thanks
June 4, 2009 - 12:49pmThis Comment
Hi Pamela,
June 4, 2009 - 12:22pmI've read some articles and seen your video on the site and know you've experienced menopause. I'm in menopause and not only do I have no sex drive but can no longer orgasm. Any suggestions?
Thanks - great post!
This Comment
Thanks for the tip -- that's great. I find the G stimulating gel gives an extra kick. Things aren't quite as responsive as they once were after menopause...and anyway, extra intense can be extra fun. I'll check out the DO because I can't resist. Pamela,
June 4, 2009 - 9:16amThis Comment
If you are a woman that admittedly wants more orgasm you should check out The Welcomed Consensus. They are all about female orgasm, teaching men how to give it and teaching women how to have it. I mean it. There are people out there that really do exist and teach this stuff. I have an incredible sex life with my partner, he produces orgasm in my body every day, but I must say it hasn't always been like that. BTW, you don't need any special cream or product to make those nerve endings work, they work just fine... they just need to be touched right.
Thanks for the article, and opportunity to post comments.
June 4, 2009 - 8:54amThis Comment