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Pamela Tames: Global Orgasm Day

By Anonymous
 
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I don’t know about you, but when I feel broke, I become instantly infatuated with the words “free,” “sale” and “discount.”

These days, with my consumer identity shaken to its core by the world’s economic spin into oblivion, I don’t just love those words, I want to make love. Or, more specifically make orgasms, and not just because they’re free, but because it’s my duty.

December 21st, 2008, was the Global-O, or Global Orgasm Day. Yes, on this past Solstice millions upon billions of people (there’s no official reckoning) contributed a collective, physical orgasm to the universe, along with all the explosive energy that usually accompanies the release.

Did you feel it? Did you hear the entire planet moan, “Oh my god that was great?” Did you see the wave of peace, joy, compassion and well-being that floated around the planet like giant rings of smoke off a proverbial post-coital cigarette?

Lest you think I’m being silly, understand that the Global-O is a serious movement with anti-war roots. According to their website (http://www.globalorgasm.org/), the goal of the organizers is to shift the world toward justice and compassion. They’re testing the hypothesis that peace begins between the legs.

And they’re even measuring the effect with a device I can’t even pretend to understand. The Global-O is part of the Global Consciousness Project, which runs a network of Random Event Generators around the world. The Generators record changes in their randomness during global events. According to the website:

“Our minds influence Matter and Quantum Energy fields, so by concentrating our thoughts during and after The Big O on peace and partnership, the combination of high orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention for peace could reduce global levels of violence, hatred and fear.”

Wow. No pressure there.

Other than the quantum energy stuff, the other motive is to give the world a rest from consumerism. You know, “Get off those feet, stop all the running around and party planning, and screw a little, why don’t cha?” (That’s not from the website.)

Sadly and amazingly, I have to report that I missed the whole event.

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