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15 Questions to Help You Think about Yourself, Your Partner and Your Relationship in Healthy Ways

 
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Healthy sexual relationships entail more than just the physical aspects of intimacy and sex. Many dimensions of health including emotional, mental, intellectual, social and spiritual health are all factors that play important roles in an overall happy and healthy sexual relationship.

There are many components of a healthy sexual relationship, and you can use the assessment below to find areas of improvement, and think about any possible behaviors you are interested in changing.

How sexually healthy are you in your current relationship? Take the quiz to find out!

For each of the following statements, rate how often you feel each statement describes you based on: 1=never; 2=rarely; 3=some of the time; 4=frequently; 5=always

1. I am open and accessible to a loving, mutually nurturing and responsible relationship.

2. I know the warning signs of common sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

3. If I choose to be sexually active, I know what forms of protection help reduce my risk for STIs and STDs.

4. If I choose to be sexually active, I know what forms of birth control are most effective for me to prevent unwanted pregnancy.

5. I take time alone (apart from my partner) to think about what's important in life, such as who I am, what I value, where I fit in, and where I'm going.

6. I do not mix alcohol or other drugs with dating or sexual encounters that can lead to risk-taking behaviors or unwanted sex.

7. I practice monthly breast/testicle self examinations.

8. I am happy with my body size and weight, and have a positive body image.

9. I listen to my body; when there is something wrong, I make adjustments to heal it or seek professional advice.

10. I carefully consider my options and possible consequences as I make choices in my life and in my relationships.

11. I avoid risks, and act in ways likely to keep myself and my partner safe.

12. I consider myself a wise health consumer and check reliable information sources before making decisions for myself.

13. I have at least one hobby, learning activity or personal growth activity—outside of my relationship—that I make time for each week.

14. I feel good about myself, and believe that my partner likes me for who I am.

15. I adapt or adjust to change in my relationship in a positive way.

The “ideal” score for this self-assessment is 75. If you scored between 60-75, you are doing a fantastic job taking care of your health for yourself, as well as the health of your relationship. If you scored between 45-60, you may want to look at areas for improvement, and discuss these aspects with your partner. If you scored less than 45, you may be taking unnecessary risks, not devoting enough time for yourself, or your friends, to develop your own identity apart from your relationship (Benifer, anyone!?).

We are here to talk with you about your scores, possible areas of improvement...and would also love to hear about the areas in which you excel!

[Adapted from: Finding the Right Balance]

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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