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Sometimes we have simultaneous obligations/plans. We want to have that date we've been looking forward to all month with the new "friend" we've been talking to tri-weekly and we also want to attend our company's annual holiday party. After all, the invitation does specify that you are, plus one, invited and well, wouldn't it be nice to be yourself, plus one? So you propose the idea and he goes for it, after all, he's in the old holiday spirit and you show up and it's:
a) Awkward because you don't know each other that well and people keep asking questions;
b) Really fun because it's distracting you from first date jitters and your friends and co-workers are in great moods;
c) boring and somewhat embarrassing as you didn't know a couple of drinks would make Sarah from the business department begin shouting 'Strip Poker!';
d) all of the above; or
e) none of the above.
Whether its an office holiday party or a family or friend holiday party, bringing a first date can be a mixture of fun, excitement, awkward moments and either a great or not so great idea depending on the circumstances. Here are some helpful questions to ask yourself before bringing your first date to a holiday party:
'Is my date somewhat outgoing, i.e. into meeting new people and having silly-ish conversations with new people?'
If the answer is "yes" or "I'm pretty sure he will go for that," then you have a good foundation. If the answer is a long hesitation, a "no" or, "I doubt it," then, by all means, grab a quiet dinner and stay away from the holiday party!
Another is: "Will the people at the party get very very curious and ask us a lot of questions about our relationship?" Again, be honest with yourself. Of course, there's no way of predicting every possible outcome and scenario, but if it seems there's a good chance you've got some gossip-happy office mates, friends, or family that's dying to see you hooked up permanently, you might want to wait awhile to bring your date around.
If, however, tact is the primary vibe among the folks at the party (and sometimes it is!) and you are excited at the prospect of having an actual date at your party, as well as being excited by the prospect of getting into the holiday spirit with this particular person; by all means, go for it.
Here's another passing bit of information: Don't forget to ask your date if he/she is into it. Okay? If this seems obvious, I apologize. However, in the name of wanting to surprise your date with something novel and kicking yourself in a text message three days later to the tune of "I'm so sorry.... I thought it would be fun" try the idea out on him first. If he's game and willing to have it not be fantastic, (in fact maybe he's willing to see it almost as a sort of adventure with the option of leaving the party and doing something else with you if it's less than fun) then it's a go. If he's not into it, or even just hesitating, forego this as an option. Starting off your dating life with someone that you're coercing into a holiday party is just not highly recommended.
Finally, if you do go together, use it as an opportunity to watch him. Not a stalker-ish, creepy way, just in an admiring, curious way. See how he interacts with people. Observe the rhythm the two of you share in a public, social situation. Feel how it is to spot him across the room and then float over to find out what's in the dip he's munching on.
It could potentially be a great way to get to know certain aspects of his personality that may have taken you a lot longer to uncover had you not gone to the party.
Oh, and another thing; don't drink more than one drink if you must imbibe at all. Just to stay focused and alert. Other than that, Happy Holidays!
Aimee Boyle writes regularly for EmpowHer.
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