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There are many reasons that people in long-term relationships can find themselves not in the mood for sex such as exhaustion, children, low self-esteem and stress, said WebMD.
DrLauraBerman.com wrote that an active sex life with your partner maintains emotional closeness and satisfaction for both parties. Physical intimacy is crucial in maintaining a longlasting and fulfilling bond.
"When you're in a long-term relationship, you get into a routine," ob-gyn Renee Horowitz, of the Center for Sexual Wellness told WebMD.
"There's biological evidence that novel experiences cause the release of dopamine in the brain." Dopamine is a chemical messenger that affects the brain’s pleasure center.
While it's inadvisable to just switch partners when the excitement diminishes, you can try changing up things with a different place, time or position.
For many women, the worst time for having sex is at the end of the day. HealthyWomen.org recommended talking with your partner to determine what works for both of you, such as sex before dinner or in the morning. Once you agree, plan for it.
Share your sexual fantasies with your partner, wrote Woman’s Day. According to Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist, "The brain is your biggest sexual organ. You can't just rely on the physical stimulation of sex; you also have to take advantage of the mental power."
Institute a plan of "no touching below the belt" for the first 20 to 30 minutes of intimacy, advised Woman’s Day. This forces you to focus more on kissing and touching, which people tend to abandon when they rush into intercourse. This creates novelty.
Sometimes low self-esteem gets in the way. "Ultimately, low self-image comes down to not being in love with yourself," sex educator, Sadie Allison told WebMD.
"And if you don't love yourself, you're not going to share yourself with someone else. Short of therapy for poor self-esteem, try finding things about yourself you do like and focus on those sexually."
Hug your partner tight for at least 30 seconds. "Studies have shown, especially in women, when you hug your partner for 30 seconds or more, it produces oxytocin, a hormone that facilitates trust and a sense of sexual connection and desire," Dr. Kerner told Woman’s Day.
Sometimes your body doesn’t cooperate because sex is painful, wrote WebMD. Fortunately, there are remedies for painful sex. Check with your doctor.
"Even if you're not in the mood, give yourself 10 minutes to give sex a shot," Dr. Kerner told Woman’s Day. Most people stuck in a rut don't have anything against sex but just aren't giving themselves a chance to go for it.
WebMD said that, no matter the reason for your diminished desire, getting back in the groove with your partner sexually can take effort. But it’s worth it.
Sources:
Berman, PhD., Laura. "3 Ways to Get in the Mood for Sex." Parenting.com. The Parenting.com Network, n.d. Web. 6 Jan. 2013.
http://www.parenting.com/article/ways-to-get-in-the-mood-for-sex
Crain Bakos, Susan. "Get in the Mood in 5 Minutes - Redbook." Sex Tips, Marriage Advice, Getting Pregnant, & Online Sweepstakes - Redbook. N.p., n.d. Web. 6 Jan. 2013.
http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/advice/mood-in-minutes-ll
"Getting In the Mood for Sex | HealthyWomen." Womens Health | Women's Wellness | Womens Mental Health | Women's Birth Control. N.p., n.d. Web. 6 Jan. 2013.
http://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/getting-mood-sex?context=healthcenter/60&context_title=60&context_description=
"Get in the Mood for Love." DrLauraBerman.com. Everyday Health, Inc., n.d. Web. 6 Jan. 2013.
http://www.drlauraberman.com/sexual-health/sexual-desire/getting-in-mood-for-love
Greene, Amanda. "How to Get in the Mood For Sex - Ways To Feel Sexy - Woman's Day." Healthy Recipes and Relationship Advice to Live Well Every Day - Woman's Day. N.p., n.d. Web. 6 Jan. 2013.
http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/sex-tips/10-foolproof-ways-to-get-in-the-mood-109514
Padykula, Jessica. "5 Simple ways to get in the mood for sex." Entertainment | Recipes | Love | Contests | Beauty | Parenting. N.p., n.d. Web. 6 Jan. 2013.
http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/821672/3-simple-ways-to-get-in-the-mood
Shaw, Gina. "Not in the Mood? How to Get Your Groove Back." WebMD - Better information. Better health. N.p., n.d. Web. 6 Jan. 2013.
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/not-in-the-mood-get-in-the-mood
Reviewed January 10, 2013
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith
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