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The New Cyber Shape of Sexuality

 
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In the not-so-distant past (let’s call it 20 years ago, otherwise known to myself and several others as our late adolescence), sexuality was real. That is to say, fantasies, magazines, movies and pictures aside, if you thought of sex, you usually thought of actual physical contact with yourself or another human being.

It may sound simplistic to the point of pointlessness until we fast forward to the present, the ever murkier “now” when Web cams, online match making, Skype, Twitter, BlackBerrys, cell phones, Macs, PCs and minis make it easier than ever before to not only talk with someone and get to know them via e-mail and pictures and movies and Web cams, but to actually engage in flirting behaviors and, of course, to have cybersex.

In the not-so-distant past, it was necessary to gather courage enough to either give out or ask to receive a person’s phone number. This preliminary act of bravery was admittance of interest and, as such, prone to failure and left one open to rejection.

The next act of will was to actually pick up the phone and call the person or, if on the other end of such an emotionally and sexually charged interaction, to wait for the magic of the phone to ring. Oh yes, and we didn’t actually have cell phones, which caused us to want to be home to call or to be called in real time, at an actual time.

Today men and women can play online role-playing games who are 50 years old and, if they so desire, can call themselves Dixie and parade about as young blonde vixens, flirting deep into the night with any character of their choosing. In fact, a 50-year-old white male role playing as a young warrior vixen can develop an entire sexually-charged relationship with a 14-year-old girl or boy parading about the virtual universe of the game in the form of a he, she, or yes, even an “it.”

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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