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It seems as though fewer and fewer couples are having sex nowadays-- so much so, that in the 1950's married couples were having more sex than today. An estimated 40 million Americans are involved in a sexless marriage.
Here are some surprising reasons why your sex life has hit a wall-- and how to fix it:
Your bed isn't sexy anymore.
While this doesn't mean "put some lingerie on your bed" it means to stop bringing laptops, newspapers, cell phones, and televisions into your bed and/or bedroom. In earlier years, people used their bed to sleep and sleep only. Today, many couples spend way too much time in bed and not enough time out of it to even see it as a sexy place to have sex in. Try kicking the habit of doing everything in bed and make your bed appear "sexy" again.
Your meds are stealing your sex drive.
Unfortunately many oral contraceptives, anti-anxiety medications, anti-depressants and blood pressure medicines can certainly take a toll on your sex drive. Ask your doctor about the sexual side effects of your drugs.
Your crazy-busy life.
You work all day, come home and cook, clean, fix something that broke, and/or take care of the child(ren). Then it's time to head to bed and exhaustion gets the best of you. Take a nice warm bath and add a few drops of ylang-ylang essential oil; the aroma is thought to heighten sexual feelings.
You don't like your body.
This is pretty self-explanatory-- many women feel they should look a certain way in order to have a great sex life. Ask your significant other what he likes about your body. If that isn't enough-- shed some pounds! A five pound weight loss is a sure way to boost your confidence.
You've hit perimenopause.
Before menopause, hormonal shifts -- specifically decreasing estrogen -- lead to physiological changes that can make sex seem less and less appealing. Sensitive vaginal tissues become less lubricated, the ensuing dryness leads to pain, and painful sex quickly turns into no sex. Talk to your doctor about the pros and cons of Hormone Replacement Therapy-- KY lubricant can certainly help with vaginal dryness.
Your man's just not that into it.
This seems to be a common reason here on EmpowHER. You may actually be raring to go, but your partner's engine seems stalled. Perhaps he's emotionally withdrawing and sometimes your partner has a hard time expressing his feelings properly. Or, he may want you to be more sexually adventurous. Talk it out in a blame-free way. Don't confront him with "What the hell is going on?" or "Are you cheating on me?" because men will shut down. Try to approach it as lovingly as possible.
You're depressed.
When you are feeling down, there may be no desire to have sex. Sometimes medications will help with depression but can hinder your sex life. Ask your doctor about an alternative drug and start exercising-- it will certainly enhance your mood and your energy.
Your man is Viagra-ized.
This does not just apply to seniors, ladies. Younger men who take Viagra to enhance performance seem to be having a physical and emotional disconnect in bed. Talk to your significant other and explain that sometimes it just isn't necessary to bring Viagra into bed with you.
You're sick and tired.
Not referring to the common cold or getting the flu. An undiagnosed thyroid disorder, fibromyalgia, diabetes, anemia, or rheumatoid arthritis may not be in the mood or have the energy for sex. Treating a thyroid condition or anemia can help bring your sex life back.
For the full article "Surprising reasons you're not having sex". Visit: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/02/12/healthmag.no.sex/index.html
Add a Comment1 Comments
Lose five pounds? Gee, what woman would have ever come up with the idea of becoming thinner to solve her relationship problems? What an insightful and imaginative article. I feel empowered!
May 6, 2011 - 8:00pmThis Comment