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There's no question about it. We are mammals. As such, we are warm blooded, often travel in packs, herds or "families" and enjoy a good cuddle. We love to groom one another and feel safest when rolled up like a soft furry nugget in another mammal's arms.
Sexual healing is good for us, especially when we're feeling sad, disconnected or have a bad case of ennui. As the Marvin Gaye song implies, "When I get that feelin', I need Sexual Healin'"
So how, if we're in a relationship where sex is possible, do we make the time, cultivate the energy, prioritize and engage with sexual activity to allow it to nurture our relationships and ourselves?
Firstly, working on your own life, cliche as it may sound, will get the ball rolling. True self esteem, not pumped up heels which alter your sense of yourself for a few minutes, will get your energy going, spark your inner fire. Sure, put on the pumps but work, too, on the career goals you may have for yourself, the poem you wanted to finish, the decorating project, the letter you wanted to write. Clearing your desk, cleaning your home environment, accomplishing small goals, all of these help you feel better about yourself and leave more room for dancing around in your underwear and sidling up to your partner when he least expects it.
Make time for peace for yourself alone. Whether this looks like a run, a walk, a movie alone, a nap, or a good curl up with your favorite novel, getting a time of peace and indulgence for yourself will recharge your batteries and help you generate those juicy, lovely feelings.
Follow this link for more on being "too tired" to make love: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/02/12/healthmag.no.sex/index.html
Think about your own sexual shame sore spots. Do you feel good about sex? If not, is it time to heal this issue or at least take a look at it? Do you feel good about your body? If you have things you feel you want to improve, can you get support for this? Do you feel good about your partner? Resentment can breed a loss of interest in sex, especially for women. Take some time to think about your reactions and some patterns that exist with your significant other and whether these are impacting your sex life.
Finally, explore your fantasies. Get a good book on women's sexual fantasies. Nancy Friday was one of the first to explore and write about women's sexual fantasies, and you can find more about her books here: http://www.amazon.com/My-Secret-Garden-Womens-Fantasies/dp/0671019872.
Health and good sex, a great combination.
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