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Dr. Metz shares the three ways a person can become aroused.
Dr. Metz:
Well there are innumerable ways that people get aroused but we talk about three basic or three fundamental ways. They are distinguished by the focus of attention.
The classic way for most younger couples is what we call partner interaction. That means the arousal is triggered by focusing on the partner. So men will focus on a woman’s body, her smile, her hair, the apparel. A woman will focus on his eyes, his face, his hairy chest, whatever. That arousal is based on excitement and anxiety from the body’s standpoint and that’s very powerful and very, very good.
The second way we call entrancement arousal, the focus is not on the partner’s body so much as focus on one’s own body and so that the triggers for arousal, erections, lubrication, response are focusing on one’s own pleasure.
The third way of getting aroused we call role enactment, which is sometimes a blending of partner interaction and entrancement arousal but more often it’s living out a script, playing hard to get tough and sounds more game-playing to change the variety, dressing up in lingerie and so forth.
Those three arousal styles as we grow older, are important to integrate. The man who at 60 is still trying to rely on partner interaction arousal is generally going to have trouble and think that there’s something wrong with him when the only issue is that he is not focusing on relaxing.
About Dr. Michael Metz, Ph.D.:
Dr. Michael Metz is a licensed psychologist, marital therapist, sex therapist, author, and frequent speaker. Dr. Metz specializes in working with couples and individuals at his private clinical practice in St. Paul, Minnesota and has helped thousands throughout his career.
Visit Dr. Metz at his Web site