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Why Can't I Achieve an Orgasm? Anorgasmia

 
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Anorgasmia is medically defined as an inability to reach an orgasm after adequate sexual stimulation. This can cause an enormous amount of personal torment and stress. An orgasm is usually described as a powerful physical gratification followed by a release of all tension. The orgasm is often accompanied by spontaneous and rhythmic contractions of the muscles in and around the genitals. Even though real numbers are not known, it is believed that this is a very common disorder that affects 20 percent of all sexually active females.

Anorgasmia only becomes a disease when one is bothered by it--if you do not reach an orgasm during sexual activity and are not bothered by it, you have nothing to worry about. However, for many women, the inability to achieve an orgasm can generate intense guilt and emotional distress. Why anorgasmia is so common is not fully understood but it can be affected by a number of medical disorders, use of medications, alcohol, illicit drugs and advanced age. Other factors that play a role in the disorder include psychological issues like performance anxiety, cultural and religious beliefs, embarrassment, interpersonal relationships and guilt about enjoying sex.

The diagnosis of anorgasmia is based on the history and physical exam of the genitals. Sometime there may be an anatomical or physical reason for lack of an orgasm. There is no magic bullet that can make a female orgasm. For most women, changes in lifestyle are more important than any medications. Experts recommend that the female should start to understand her body and learn to accept that sex is a normal physiological event. In many women, the chief cause of anorgasmia is that the partner simply has not made enough effort to effectively stimulate the clitoris. Thus, this may mean teaching the partner about female anatomy, changing sexual positions, or spicing up your sex life with a vibrator. It is vital that all conflicts and disagreements be resolved for satisfying sex and thus some couples may require counseling. There are sex therapists all over the country that specialize in treating this problem.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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