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Work stress should be left at work at the end of the day. Easy to say — we all say it — not so easy to do. But particularly if you have a special relationship with a partner, or are part of a family, it's even more important.
Can you turn off the stressors of your job when you go home? This doesn't just mean that you don't talk about the pressures and problems, because these things have a way of taking over and leaking out at the worst possible times. This is a discipline that takes time and effort to get in gear. You must be willing to try new things and venture into unfamiliar territory.
1) Shut the door at the end of the work day.
Many jobs are not of the old-fashioned 9-5 variety. Plenty require more than a five-day week. More and more, people's require a presence that is more like 24/7. Employees that are going to work their way up the ladder or even just keep their jobs may be the ones who are willing to put in the most hours.
If your work world is out there, leave the worries of your job behind when you leave the building. If you work at home, you may not actually be leaving your place of work so much as moving from your living room to your kitchen to make dinner. But when you get up from that desk chair, it's time to close the office door, metaphorically speaking.
2) Turn off your electronics.
The great advantages of cellphones and email and other technologies are also the flipside to being chained to their jobs for some. Don't check your email. Don't spend all evening on Facebook. Don't answer texts. Stay away from your website. If necessary, get up and walk away from these tools and don't let them steal you from your family.
3) Welcome your partner or family at the end of the work day.
Do you rejoin your partner or family at the end of the day feeling distracted? Do you drift back into work concerns, while your child is sharing the day's events from school, or your spouse is trying to talk to you?
It's important to step away from the job and be really present at home. Don't waste that precious time with your partner or family by rehearsing some unpleasant moment or sweating over a problem from work. Make that free time count for all it's worth.
4) Communicate.
Is your mood hard to decipher for those around you? Your family members may wonder if they've done something wrong, when really they've done nothing. You just haven't fully come home yet.
Are you coming in the door freaked out about something from your job? Are you leaking anger that you've tried to suppress? You are not the only one being affected by your work stress. Talk to the people you love.
5) Cooperate, don't compete.
Are you used to an independent kind of role at work and find it hard to switch to something a little more family-friendly? Is it hard to admit vulnerability, to accept honesty that might feel like criticism, to work cooperatively with the people at home rather than be in competition?
You're a team. Enjoy the pleasures of all being on the same side.
6) Your off-hours are as important as your work hours.
Do you think of the work world as "real life" and home as the place to tune out and detach till you go back again? Do you apply yourself full-force when you're at work? Do you believe that what you do there matters?
Now apply that same passion and drive at home. Don't drop on the couch and zone out. Go for a drive with the family. Take your partner out for dinner. Take the crew for ice cream.
Is going out a little more than you're up to? Stay on your couch but ask about everyone's day. Engage when your child describes what happened at school. Listen to your partner's thoughts. Or better yet, make room on the couch for your partner, and relive some of the earlier evenings that brought you two together in the first place.
Visit Jody's website at http://www.ncubator.ca
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