ellens320

I lost my best friend to lung cancer Feb.19,2010.He was my rock and I dont know how to go on without him.He always fixed all my problems.He was always a phone call away.I never told him what he ment to me Im sure he knew,but I never said the words.My son is lost without his dad,Im suppost to be strong and hold him together,but I need someone to hold me together.We lost him to soon,the cancer was shrinking the doctors were talking about operating,he was doing better.I talked to him Thrusday nite he sounded good.Then Friday morning 5:30 the phone rings and my boy is yelling mom he is gone dad is dead.He is gone this time I watched him fall back into uncle dave's arms you have to come.Im on my way but before I could get out of the house he called back and said the medic's say he has no vidals.This is way to much for a 16 year old boy to deal with.I get there and they were pumping his chest,I see that everytime I think about.I cant get it out of my head.I just want my friend back,we parted 6 years ago but stayed friends,I was the first person he called when the doctors told him he had lung cancer.I searched online for hospitals doing trial studies and anything new that would cure him,I cried so much when he told me and his answer was as always dont cry for me,and his favorite its to far from my heart to kill me.I would have done anything to save him,I just thought we had more time.He was a vet,arent the va hospitals suppost to have the best doctor.Why didnt they do more for him,he fought for his country,they should have fought harder for him.