sodagirl

I have lived with what was diagnosed as Fibromyalgia for 23 yrs. It has not been easy but I have learned a lot about how pain, especially pain, can take a shape of it's own and engulf you in it. I have tried to break out of the shape but it won't let me. It is a slow moving monster that finally lets you know that you have to live with it and learn in your own private way, how to deal with it.
I feel extremely alone because the pain is so deep inside me that to others, even close family, I look like there is nothing wrong, so therefore I must act like nothing is wrong. One thing is for sure....I have had it for so long and it has changed me so much that one day I will not be able to hide from it.
I am sure I have had signs of FM all my life. I can remember as a child having my legs ache so bad I couldn't walk. I can remember missing school because of the stomach pains I had. All I ever heard was that what I was feeling were 'growing pains', and that when I grew up they would go away. They did go away during the years I was having children and raising them. I was taking birth control pills and had my hormones all balanced. I felt energetic and able to be a Mom. Then, I began having very painful periods so I was advised to have a hysterectomy. After that surgery and being put on substitute hormone therapy, I can remember feeling the pain creep back in to my body. My legs began to ache again and it was like stepping in to another persons life...I had forgotton after so much time that I was back where I had been.
I have read where some doctors feel FM could be a growth hormone deficiency, among many other thoughts, and I wonder if my child bearing years were the healthiest due to natural hormone production?
Anyway, here I am with this condition or disease or syndrome that no one knows anything about and has no valid tests to confirm the name they have given it and I must take it in stride.
If anyone would like to share in my story, I would welcome you.
Thank you, Nan