On Valentine’s Day, we buy cards, flowers, and chocolate. We take the time to celebrate with our loved ones and tell them how much they mean to us. However, there is one person that many of us tend to forget about on Valentine’s Day: ourselves. So, this Valentine’s Day, these 3 tips will help you strengthen your relationship with yourself.
1. Don’t victimize yourself
How many times have you heard Valentine’s Day called “Singles Awareness Day?” With the jewelry, chocolate, and flower commercials, Valentine’s Day can make single people feel left out. However, even with all this external influence, we are the ones making ourselves feel that way.
This is equally true for people in relationships. We fantasize about the perfect Valentine’s Day, but rarely experience it. We then blame ourselves, or our kids, or our partner for not living up to the vision that we created in our minds.
Dr. Tracy Thomas, psychologist and lover of life, says the worst thing we do to ourselves is making ourselves the victim. “Women traumatize themselves and make up entire storylines about what they should have. If they don’t have that ‘thing,’ their life becomes about what they lack.” Dr. Thomas said, “Dropping social comparisons as a form of self-torture is the first step to a healthy relationship with yourself.”
This Valentine’s Day, don’t think about what you don’t have, whether it’s a perfect relationship or a significant other. It’s time we stop letting advertising dictate what it is we want out of our lives and making us feel like we’re missing out on something spectacular in the form of a box of chocolates.
2. Take time to be alone
One of the things I am often told when talking about self-love is to do things that make me happy. But, for many, this is easier said than done. Some of us just haven’t learned what it is that makes us feel complete. Trips to the spa and being pampered can be nice, but it doesn’t do much to increase our long-term self-esteem.