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The holidays are treacherous waters for those of us with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. We navigate carefully throughout the year, doing our best to avoid the CFS crash that can level us for months. This time of year, we're even more careful.
Here are some suggestions:
1) Rest. Rest. Rest some more.
This can be in the form of afternoon naps. Of short lay-downs for 10 minutes, every few hours. Take the phone off the hook, turn off the computer. Listen to music with eyes closed. Listen to silence with eyes closed.
2) Delegate and say no.
We hate turning down requests we've always accepted in the past. But ... we must say "No". Often. Maybe you always did the holiday decorating or baking. This year, entrust your spouse or your kids with those jobs.
3) Prioritize.
You'd like to do it all. You know darned well you can't, but you're tempted to try anyway. This is bad reasoning. A CFS brain gone kooky. Look at your wish list and choose what's most important,and let the rest go. Think of it as an investment in your future.
4) Watch the food.
Many holiday foods are unhealthy for the average person. More so for us. Many with CFS have allergies and sensitivities that cause serious symptoms when indulged. If you're planning the menu, include foods you can eat. If someone else is planning it, speak up.
5) Respect the tiny budget.
Many with CFS live on very little. Because of reduced incomes. Because of expensive treatments or supplements, or needing to buy high-end due to chemical sensitivities. We want to maintain all our holiday traditions, but this can lead to spending we can't afford, and guilt. Best to be realistic about what's actually in the coffers.
6) Be honest with yourself.
It's hard not to embrace the things you love, the things that, maybe, others still expect of you. No sense kidding ourselves. We're not capable of what we were in the past. Let go of the guilt. You're not lazy. You're ill. You have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
7) Be honest with others.
The biggest favor we can do our loved ones is to enter this holiday season without illusions and without excuses. We need none. And they're more likely to believe that if we believe it ourselves. Let them know your limitations. Give them a chance to rise to your needs. Some won't, and that's just the hard truth. But some may. And you'll both be the richer for it.
8) Go online.
There are websites that want to be your support system. CFS forums exist where you can meet others with similar needs, and share your lives. A virtual community is a real community. I have benefited so much from mine.
9) For those who are alone ...
Many with CFS will be alone. No friends or family will visit. Some will get phone calls or cards. Some will get none.
Call upon your inner resources to buoy you. Look to your past, remember times when things were better. Look to the future, uncertain though it is. There are no guarantees of better times ahead and we both know it. But holding on to hope can sustain you, especially during what can only feel like a "holiday" of loss.
Know that though you're alone ... you have value. You matter, whether your former friends and family think so or not.
10) For those who are homeless ....
Tough time to be alone. Even tougher when you're homeless. And many with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome live outdoors, due to finances, chemical sensitivities, or both.
You've had to be self-reliant -- so hard when resources are small, and strength is smaller. Look past this season which does NOT accommodate or acknowledge you. Refuse to be reduced to your circumstances.
You've withstood enormous privation and you have my admiration and respect. And for what it's worth, I'll be thinking of you through the holiday season. And long after it's past. You are on my mind every day.
I spent 15 years losing the battle against CFS. Two years ago, I found treatment that worked for me, and now I am making a comeback.
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