What Will Give Comfort at the End of Your Life?

It is human nature to want to give comfort when someone is sick or in pain. This is also true when someone is near the end of life. To prepare for the day when that someone is you, think about these things and record your thoughts now to help your family and friends take care of you when your life is coming to an end.

Care – Think about what types of care are most important to you.
• Is it more important to you to be able to talk to people and say goodbye, or to be free of pain even if that means you are asleep most of the time?

• Do you want help from hospice to control your pain and other symptoms?
• Is it more important for you to be at home or to be in a hospital or other facility to control your pain and other symptoms?
• Do you want people around you to be quiet and serious, or kind and cheerful as they care for you?

Comfort – Think about things that will give you comfort or peace.

• Do you want a pastor of other spiritual leader to talk with you or pray with you or your family?
• Are there certain bible readings, poems, or other materials you would like someone to read to you?
• Do you have a certain kind of music you would like to listen to or particular songs you would like to hear?
• Do you want to be bathed with warm water regularly to make sure you feel clean as much as possible?
• Do you like a cool cloth on your head if you are warm or feverish?
• Do you want to be touched, such as having someone hold your hand or rub your head or feet?
• Do you want someone to be with you at all times?
• Do you want someone to talk to you even when it seems that you may not hear them?
• Are there special photos or objects you want to have close to your bed?

Communication – Think about who you would like to have informed if you are close to death.

• Do you want many friends and members of your church or social groups to know that you are near the end of your life?
• Do you want to be visited by many friends, or would you prefer they send cards or pray for you?
• If you have small children or grandchildren, do you want them with you or would you prefer they not come into your room as you near the end?

Completion – Think about what you would want if you could chose your last moments of life.
• Is it important to you to die at home, if that is possible?
• Do you want someone to stay with you at all times when it seems that death may come at any moment?
• Who do you want to have in the room or close by for your last moments, if possible?

These are difficult topics to think about. But the decisions will be even harder for your family and other loved ones if they are trying to guess what you would want. Including this information in your advance directives is another gift you can give to the people you love.

Sources:
Aging with Dignity
American Bar Association

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