I am still sick. I’ve spent the entire day so far in bed. The couple of times I have tried to get up I got sick. This is just pathetic!
I have a headache from laying in bed and watching so much TV. My body hurts from cancer and lack of use. I just wish so bad that I wasn’t nauseated. I want to go to the pool or at least outside and get some fresh air. None of the medicine I have been taking is helping.
I am seriously considering telling the oncologist that we are going to have to change the chemo. I just don’t know if I can handle another round of this, especially if it’s going to get worse. I don’t want to even imagine what it would feel like if it was getting worse.
I am trying to imagine this poison killing the cancer inside me. A part of me is hoping it’s not working. I don’t want to stay on this chemo. This is no way of life. I just can’t believe that I am still sick. How long does this go on? It doesn’t make any sense. I just feel like I haven’t had any good news for so long. It’s been nine months. I have spent almost this entire year in the hospital. I’m wondering when I am going to finally have a mental breakdown. For some reason I have been able to move forward and tolerate everything fine so far. I guess I just feel like I have no choice. What other option do I have?