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Sick of crying,
I am so sorry that you are going through this, and we are so glad that you found this site. Let's help you work through some of your problems and find solutions that may help you move forward and begin feeling better emotionally.

I just realize that I wrote a very long response, and if you prefer not to read through all of this information now, please read the paragraph below, and then the last paragraph. The "middle" is more information about the pros/cons of HRT.

First of all, I am wondering if you are working with a good gynecologist, as well as a therapist? Did you talk with your doctor about the pros and cons of taking HRT, or did you decide to stop using HRT due to potential long-term side effects? Did your doctor talk with you about short-term vs. long-term use, and what you can do to help treat your emotional symptoms? Lastly, have you weighed the pros/cons of using HRT (either with synthetic or bioidentical hormones) with the pros/cons of having low estrogen levels without any "treatment"? I know it is confusing, but am asking to see where you are at in regards to knowing the information, so that we can provide more detail, help and support.

I have found some great resources at EmpowHer's website that I hope will spark some more discussion on this topic, as no one can "tell" you what is best for you. We can only provide the pros/cons related to HRT and bioidentical HRT, so that you can make the choices that fit within your lifestyle.

From my reading, there are pros and cons with both types of HRT (hormones that are synthetic vs. hormones that are bioidentical; I'll use HRT and BHRT to abbreviate). The use of BHRT sounds great, but should also be used with the same careful scrutiny as any other treatment, as the assumption is that "bio-identitical" equals "natural", and natural does not (unfortunately) guarantee that the substance is healthy, safe or effective. Please read below for more information on this topic; some from women who have used HRT and BHRT, as well as from medical experts.

-Medical Expert Dr. Sarrel: Psychological Complaints of Menopausal Women and How to Treat:
"The psychological issues that women will complain about are depression, an irritability, anxiety to the extent of panic attacks...". He states that due to the low levels of estrogen in your body during and after menopause, this can create reactions in your brain including less blood flow and can interact with parts of the brain that may lead to depression. "Clinically, it becomes important if someone’s at menopause and being evaluated to be treated for depression. Most anti-depressants are not as effective when there’s no estrogen. So from a psychiatry/gynecology point of view, I would argue, and the literature can be supportive, that you should replace the estradiol, and then if you need an anti-depressant you can add it, usually at very low doses, and the combination will be effective, whereas the anti-depressant alone you may have to go to very high doses with many adverse side effects and find it very frustrating to help the woman."

-Medical expert Dr. Christensen: What are Bio-identical hormones?:
"[Bioidentical hormones] tend to have less side effects and less of some of the health risks that you could perhaps with the more synthetic hormones. Now the caveat there, however, is that you have to know what you are doing and how to use those. Because you can do just because it is bioidentical does not necessarily mean it is going to be good for you, especially if you are giving it in large quantities and if you are not treating the whole person and creating balance to the whole person because hormones are influenced by many, many different body systems..."

-Bioidentical hormones, what are they and do they really work? EmpowHer article, including references:
"...'natural' or not, bioidentical hormones are still hormones and come with the same set of risks as traditional HRT products. Safety of hormones like estrogen to treat menopausal symptoms has become a concern since the highly publicized results of the Women’s Health Initiative of 2002 that found HRT increased the risk of heart disease and some cancers in certain women on long-term hormone therapy."

-Bioidentical hormones and menopause:
"In the short term, there is no question that bioidentical HRT can help strengthen bone, reduce fractures, improve mood and increase energy. There are many anecdotal reports, which claim that bioidentical HRT can help delay the onset of dementia and maintain cognition. Bioidentical HRT, however, is not for everyone. Women [with certain conditions] should not take these hormones."

-Bioidentical hormones...are they really? Member's blog on BHRT.

You may be interested in reading what other menopausal and post-menopausal women are talking about, as well as experts and recent studies, related to menopause in general, and HRT specifically:
-Menopause: medical studies, conversations, recent news and more
-Menopause with no hormone treatment
-To HRT or not to HRT
-Is hormone replacement therapy really necessary?
-Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)

I hope to hear back from you soon, and let us know how we can help you (I realize sending you a bunch of links may not be what you need most from us, so please let us know how we can help).

I did want to mention that some women do go through menopause, and see it as a natural part of life and something that does not need to be "treated". If you are having symptoms as you describe, I think you may want to talk with a therapist first, and describe your feelings and behaviors more concretely (what does "going ballistic" mean?). Are you afraid of harming someone else, do you feel anxious, irritable, have irrational fears? Can you describe this impending doom feeling, and how long it has been going on? This, to me, is the first sign that you need to talk with a therapist sooner-rather-than-later. Take care, and hope to hear back from you soon.

October 15, 2009 - 12:13pm

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