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Am I pregnant? Most common question.

By September 26, 2009 - 9:23pm
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I am in fear of being pregnant. Me and the guy did use a condom but I still don't trust them. My period was suppose to be coming on the 17th of Sept. and now its the 26th. I had sex on the 18th. I did go to a doctor and they took a pregnancy test a week after I had sexual intercourse and it came out negative BUT I am still worried. Some symptoms I have are tender breasts. I do get cramps once in a while, and that's when I believe my period is on it's way, but it never seems to come. I am also constipated. I have also gotten headaches lately. What's wrong with me?! I'm extremely scared!

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Hey I'm back! So I said I was going to keep you updated. I'm cramping but I'm happy! I got my period today! Thanks for all the advice! And for easing my fear! XOXO :D

October 1, 2009 - 4:41pm

I am 17 years old. For my mom, sex is the biggest sin ever and I'm not open with her at all. I don't tell her my problems or anything like that so obviously she won't know I'm sexually active. I tell her that not all periods are regular and that every girl is different when it comes to that, but it doesn't go through her head and it frustrates me. I don't think it would be a good idea for me to take my mom, because if I were pregnant she would do whatever she can to make me feel miserable. :(

I did see the condom when he pulled out and the semen was in the tip of the condom. But I'm still scared. I'm just going to wait a couple more weeks. I hope everything goes back to normal.

I didn't mean I wasn't going to have sex ever. I mean it is bound to happen, but not anytime soon. Don't want to go through this again when I know I'm not ready.

September 27, 2009 - 1:05pm
(reply to stef_pal)

You sound like you are very smart and thoughtful, and I'm sorry you are going through this worry right now. It sounds like you are doing the right thing, and let us know in a few weeks if your period does not start...or please let us know when it does! I have every confidence that the condom you used worked (most do!), and that your guilt and worry is causing the doubt. That is a normal response, and I'm glad to hear that you are going to wait to have sex until you are ready. I wish you the best, and really do hope to hear from you again soon.

In the meantime, please let us know if you have any questions. If you ever are too scared, you can call a GYN to make an appointment (at age 17, since you have been sexually active in the past, it is a good idea to start finding a gynecologist that you would want to continue seeing on a regular basis), or call your family doctor to ask about recommendations for a gynecologist, since you are late on your period.

September 27, 2009 - 6:49pm
(reply to Alison Beaver)

Thank you so much for your advice. And I will keep you updated!

September 27, 2009 - 7:21pm

Last resource for your mom, from ACOG:

Menstruation for Teens
, "There are many other reasons for a missed period. The most common reason is pregnancy. Other reasons you might miss your period include:
* Sudden change in weight
* Illness
* Stress
* Extreme exercise (such as running long distances each day)
* Hormone problems
* Taking certain medicines
A young woman should see her doctor if she has not started having periods by age 15 years or if she has not had a period for 3 months. (If you have had sex and think you might be pregnant, see your doctor right away.). "

I hope this helps!

September 27, 2009 - 12:37pm

The 18th was the first time I had any intercourse this year. The nurse took a urine test, after that my fear eased up a bit, but my mom doesn't believe in late or missed periods(I know like if it were a religion). So she keeps hassling me about being pregnant, but she doesn't know I'm sexually active. So the fear of being pregnant went up again. My mom wants to take me to the doctor to take a pregnancy test but I'm still scared that it might come out positive. Birth control sounds awesome but I'm not planning to have any sex anymore! The last time I did it was because I was under pressure, and my brain doesn't seem to function when I'm under it.

September 27, 2009 - 11:07am
(reply to stef_pal)

Another pregnancy test would not be out of the question, but you can purchase one at a local drug store or grocery store without going to the doctor. Home pregnancy tests are 99% effective at detecting any "pregnancy hormone" once you have missed your period.

The urine pregnancy test you took at your doctors would conceivable come out negative, even if you were pregnant at the time, as it can take a few weeks for the "pregnancy hormones" to be detected in the urine. Since you took it just a week after protected intercourse, then you may want to take another test to be sure.

May I ask how old you are? Does your mom really not know that you are sexually active, even though she keeps thinking you are pregnant? She may not be as naive as you think!

One thing about condoms. Did you see the condom after you had sex? Did your partner pull out of you, holding the condom (you would have felt his hand on your groin area, holding the base of the condom as he pulled out). If his penis was still erect and he was holding the base of the condom as he pulled out, you can be sure there was no spilling of semen. Also, if the tip of the condom was holding in his semen, then you can be confident that there were no holes, also. Of course, nothing is 100%, but I hope this gives you more trust in your use of birth control and that you did engage in safer sex...good choice!

My mom (years ago) sounds like your's does now, and it makes me smile! Any irregularity and mom's red flags go up and want a "clean bill of health" by a doctor. Totally understandable, and depending on your age, you have a few options to ease her fears (which is undoubtedly causing your fears to increase; unless she is reading into your fears...), or if you are 18 years or older, you can begin letting her know that you can handle it from here, but will come to her with questions...your choice. Of course, since you already brought your mom into the situation and into your concerns, it would be wise to go through the process with her; I am not sure what your situation, your age or your relationship is with your mom. I just want to make sure that if you are over 18, do not want to go to the doctor, that your voice is being heard. Women DO have irregular cycles, even miss periods, for no "apparent" reason, even if your mom thinks it happens to "other" daughters and not her own! :-)

Your mom may find comfort in this information, from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG):
Abnormal uterine bleeding, "Menstrual cycles that are longer than 35 days or shorter than 21 days are abnormal. The lack of periods for 3–6 months (amenorrhea) also is abnormal." Please know that the ACOG, a medical community that provides more conservative information for the general population, is giving "room" to the fact that woman can miss their period for 1-2 months and this can be normal. Of course, if your period does not begin in the next few weeks, a call to your doctor's office would be recommended, so they can rule out any medical condition (including pregnancy).

Also from ACOG, "Abnormal bleeding can occur at any age. At certain times in a woman's life it is common for periods to be somewhat irregular. They may not occur on schedule in the first few years after a girl starts to have them (around age 9–16 years). The cycle may get shorter near age 35 years. It often gets shorter as a woman nears menopause (around age 50 years). It also is normal then to skip periods or for bleeding to get lighter or heavier. " Throughout a woman's life, her periods may be irregular or skipped one month; they may be different amounts of blood, they may be different colors...all of this can be normal.

I hope this helps!

And, lastly...with the best of intentions, you say you "are not planning to have any sex anymore!". As a Health Educator who has spoken with thousands of college-aged students who have said the same thing...can I just tell you...please be PREPARED even for the events you don't think will happen! Too often, students say, "never again", but of course...you will most likely have sex again in your lifetime. Maybe not for years, or maybe not for months. It is when you do not plan that you can be in this situation again of "not knowing" and worrying...which is no place to be. Have condoms available, and also know other methods that can help (withdrawal method plus a condom, or "outercourse" are great safer sex options). Of course, waiting to have intercourse is ideal, but if your brain is under pressure again and unable to function...having a plan in advance will make sure your brain does not need to function fully...just enough to enact your pre-existing plan(s) for safer sex.

Please let us know what the outcome of your situation is, both with you and your mom, if you go to the doctor or take another home pregnancy test, or if your period begins. Best wishes.

September 27, 2009 - 12:35pm


Your period was supposed to start on Sept 17th, and you had a pregnancy test done the week after this at the doctor's office? Was this a urine or blood test? (Not that it really matters, actually...they are both very accurate after you have missed a period).

Is the only time you had sex on the 18th? If you are having protected sex with a condom, you can be confident that they are 98% effective at preventing pregnancies, plus with your negative pregnancy test...you can be confident in the results that you are not pregnant.

There are many reasons for a late period; some women even miss a period for no apparent reason. If your period does not begin in the next few weeks, you can call your GYN to talk with them about your options. Depending on your medical history, they may or may not need to see you; as women missing a period is so common (with a negative pregnancy test) that they may just tell you to wait until your next cycle.

Your symptoms are indicative of hormone fluctuations, which occur naturally throughout your cycle.

If you do not trust condoms as effective birth control, and surely this worry is very stressful, have you considered using hormonal birth control (such as the pill)? You can even continue using condoms and the pill, or you can use condoms and other birth control method, such as the Withdrawal Method, to provide extra protection (the withdrawal method is not highly effective by itself, and would have to be used by a willing male partner!).

Please know that there is likely nothing "wrong with you", and you can hopefully begin to relax and not be scared. Your symptoms and late period happen to MANY women; most women actually experience late, irregular or missed periods in their lifetime...it really is this common. If you are concerned, please call your doctor and request an appointment, where they can rule out any medical conditions (beyond pregnancy).

September 27, 2009 - 7:41am
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