bipolar boyfriend.

Thank you for ur comment. it's. true. I. tend to accept what I. hear n try to forget what I. see. I. have low self esteem. But don't. feel strong. enough for myself. I. have been hurt many times. Men change. their. minds often. But this. will be my last boyfriend. When. he messes up again, I. plan to live my life alone. And take of me.

Hi Anon,

Thank you for sharing your question with the EmpowHER community.

Lying is not on the list of symptoms for bipolar disease, but it is for narcissistic personality disorder.

It sounds like your boyfriend is not only lying to you, he's manipulating you as well, by promising not to do it again and by referring to his behavior as a mistake.  The two things you mentioned he's been found guilty of, smoking and talking to another girl, are never done by mistake.   

• A mistake is an action (carelessness, forgetfulness) or judgement that is misguided or wrong.
• A choice is the act of picking or deciding between two or more possibilities.

The fact that he has admitted to his behavior and promises to never do it again in the midst of expressing how much he loves and cares about you, is straight manipulation.  

You have all the answers within you.  Instead of trying to trust him, trust yourself.  If there is one thing I know, a lying boyfriend is a habitual creature.  As long as it keeps on working, and even if it doesn't, he's not going to stop.  He'll lie to you or someone else who accepts it.  If you want something different then what you're getting , you have the power to make it happen.  

As for knowing how to tell if he's lying, you know exactly how to do it, just give it time and watch the signs.  

I know you said he loves you, but his behavior isn't exhibiting basic trust, let alone love.  Do you love yourself more than you think he loves you?  Are you willing to accept lies in exchange for promises of love later?  You deserve a relationship with trust and real love. 

With love and wellness,

~Gillette