Boyfriend masturbates even though haveing a willing girlfriend

Some very heated discussion on this topic. I agree with Alison in that we should be able to have some thoughtful discussion without being nasty. I also appreciate the gentlemen's comments above. I agree as well that there is nothing wrong with watching porn and masturbation whether you are married or single. Let's all remember that sexuality is a very important basic human behavior which we all need to utlize in order to stay health and happy.

Thank you all for your contributions and thoughtful comments on the "taboo" topics of pornography and masturbation. We ask that you keep your messages respectful, free of language that attacks or is otherwise inflammatory towards a particular person. This site is designed for the open-expression of health information and personal experiences that is inclusive, empowering and insightful.

Alison B
Moderator

I am the guy that posted above, and i stumbled here, lol I don't regularly peruse womens health sites.

Firstly I am a Man
Secondly Lol at the feminine power BS &porn.
Third, As was stated before if he really isn't paying you any attention as far as sex do you think the problem is with him or you? You sound super controlling, and naive to think you can change him. I suggest you avert your psycho collar you have around his neck before he leaves ya. He must really love you to deal with what you have done already.
Him masturbating has nothing to do with you. Maybe you should try to spice up, and stop waiting for it to change on its own.

I might sound like a "3rd grader" for asking, but why do some of you have to comment on her writing skills or "netiquette"? She is stating very private thoughts for everyone to view. Give her some slack people. This is a place for serious conversations, questions, and advice.

I would like to add something here. I was also with a person who was addicted to pornography and it does create a huge problem in the relationship. This was a problem in mine since I am very sexually active myself and would prefer real sex versus self pleasures.

Please understand that this is not you in any means and not your fault either. Here are some more links from our site where you can read other reactions about this same subject.
www.empowher.com/community/share/sex-addiction

www.empowher.com/condition/sexual-health

I think the best thing to try is talk about it. This may be something you can enjoy together but if he chooses self pleasure all the time and you are lacking, there may be a better chance you will find someone different that will treat you the way you want. Think about it this way, there are several woman that do not care to have sex and being with a man addicted to self-pleasures would suffice them. You have your needs so go with them. Maybe finding someone new would be better in the long run for you. There are men that are addicted to pornography and would rather self pleasure. There are also men that enjoy the pleasures a woman bring.

In my experience, you cannot change someone, either you learn to deal with something you don't like or move on and find a better match. Thats my advise from an ex-porn addicted relationship. I hope this helps.

I completely agree with susanc. Masturbation is normal. I do not understand how his masturbation is putting you second, unless you mean he is putting himself first which is what everybody should do. If you are unhappy then you need to change, not your boyfriend.

it's because you write in all caps lock.