Can a 3yo have personality disorders or defiant oppositional disorder?

By Sarah Or September 7, 2014 - 7:34pm

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I've ask our pediatrician about this on more than one occasion only to get shrugged off on every occasion. They don't take it seriously. Here's the story. My daughter is very combative. To the point where she'd hurt herself running into traffic if I ever told her not to go near the road. She does things to every family member just to get them mad. I used to think it was attention seeking so I started spending special Mommy Daughter time with her. I'd paint her toenails pink curl her hair, do what ever she wanted but that seemed to only make her behaviour worse. You could tell this child that is she put her clothes in the hamper she'd get a reward. She will go and throw the dirty laundry all over. Then when she got a time out she'd throw a tantrum like she somehow doesn't deserve it. Doing what's asked could benefit her and she'd still rather do the opposite.

Now I know a certain amount of this is natural...but not 100% of the time. Even the biggest of problem children still occasionally do what's asked if the reward is great enough. Not my Zofia. She was such a sweet loveable baby then one day she just changed. Visits to her doctor prove frustrating because they can't find a reason. She changed around the time she started crawling. I've got a relative with a personality disorder, she picks fights and starts fights between others just like my Zofia. Because of her behaviour we basically got kicked out of a couple play groups. I'm at my wits end and am to be honest I'm starting to resent her for all of the fights she causes. I know no child should be able to have that kind of power in a house but she just keeps going at it until everyone is angry. I'm loosing my little mind over this because her doctors think I'm just being dramatic or something. What should I do when the medical profession doesn't seem to care. Advice would be great, thank you.

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Maryann Gromisch RN Guide

Hello Sarah Or,

Welcome to the EmpowHER community. Thank you for reaching out to us with your concerns about your daughter's behavior.

It is apparent that it is causing you such pain. Understandably, you are at your wits end. I hope we can find the right resource for you and your daughter before your love for her and relationship with her is subject to any further damage.

In early childhood, children who later are diagnosed with borderline disorder are often described as being more demanding and requiring more attention than their brothers and sisters. These children behave and respond to situations differently.

My suggestion to you is find a child psychiatrist with experience in borderline disorders. Zofia needs to be evaluated by such a physician. You could ask your pediatrician for a referral or check with your insurance provider for child psychiatrists who are in network or covered by your plan.

Regards,
Maryann

September 8, 2014 - 9:48am

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Sarah Or (reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

I suffer with rapid cycling bipolar and a major anxiety disorder as well. My worst nightmare I think has come true. My beautiful little girl, despite all I did and didn't do during her pregnancy has probably inherited some mental deficit from me. My son turned up with ADHD, so mild it's controlled with a small drink from my morning coffee. My little girl it would appear is going to suffer far more. I've asked the pediatrician to refer us and I've been blown off. So I think it's time I start from scratch. First we must find a new doctor that will actually listen to me. My instincts have yet to be wrong with either of my children. I would love for that statement to be wrong in this case, but I do not think it is. Thank you again for your advice.

September 8, 2014 - 6:00pm