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First time sex

By August 4, 2012 - 1:12am
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I'm 20 years old and my boyfriend and I have been trying to have sex for almost 2 years. The problem is I feel really scared and that I cannot stand of pain. Everytime I feel pain, I feel more scared. I am afraid of the moment that the hymen will break and I cannot calm down. Everytime we try, I feel so nervous that I can't even keep my legs open. I just feel Im not normal like all the other girls. Only once, he managed to get inside and I felt a lot of pain, but no blood came out. And once again after that, I felt the same pain, so I guess the hymen just stretched a little bit but it didn't break. I don't want to go to a gynecologist and have it cut. Im affraid that it will be a lot more painful and Im not sure I can afford it. Please, give me a solution! I'm desperate!

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EmpowHER Guest

Hi Maggie,

Thank you for your question. I would imagine that your hymen no longer exists if you had sex twice and there was no blood. More often than not, women will lost their hymen during childhood and not even know it. It is a very thin layer and is often broken without trying.

If you are concerned about sex, you should really talk to a physician/psychologist to ascertain the reason why you fear sex-pain so much. Sex should not be painful.

I hope this helps.


August 4, 2012 - 9:24am
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