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I am a breast cancer survivor so I can't take hormones. I have tried all kinds of lubrication including vagifem and liquibeads. Ever since my hysterectomy 10 years ago I have had painful sex and nothing helps.

By October 27, 2011 - 1:14pm
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I am fearful of sex to the point where my husband of 40 years and I have intercourse maybe a few times a year. How can I get over my fear and be lubricated enough that it doesn't hurt. I am sure years of no estrogen treatments have added to my dryness. I am also on cymbalta for depression and to treat severe arthritis pain.

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I have found that the K-Y Liquibeads help a lot but I am still having pain when my husband goes in all the way. I am sure my lack of estrogen has ruined my life. I have also suffered from hot flashes for 15 years. When he is on me it triggers one. It is hard to find a comfortable position because I have had both knees replaced as well.

October 28, 2011 - 2:07pm
(reply to susiek24)

Positions that keep you off of your knees and him off of you include side-lying positions. Try as many different positions while remaining on your side to avoid triggering hot flashes and knee pain. Here are some side-lying positions you can try, remember you can modify some of these to keep you comfortable: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/side-sex-positions



November 2, 2011 - 8:23am

Hi Susiek24,

Thank you for your post!

I'm so sorry that you are fearful of sex due to your vaginal dryness. Instead of vaginal moisturizers, have you tried using a water-based lubricant? You may need something that is used right before sex and that gives you temporary but immediate results.

Try not to be scared-- I know it's easier said than done but usually fear itself will not allow you to enjoy sex. Just apply a liberal amount of lubricant and ask your husband to be gentle.

Hope this helps,


October 27, 2011 - 8:54pm
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