I am a stay at home mom and my husband works 60hrs a week. I know he's tired and want to come home and relax or go to bed. We've bee together for two years now and the affection and intimacy have significantly decreased. I have to ask for his time and ask for kisses hugs cuddling and sex. Where before he couldn't keep his hands off of me. Don't get e wrong I love being at home with my children and watching them grow. but don't I need stimulation from my partner to give me what is needed? I feel like he's not into me anymore or attracted. He says cause we have kids now that's why we don't do as much. But I didn't think just because we have children everything between a man and wife stops. Sex is a touchy subject I have to beg for him to be intimate with me and he gets mad when I ask. He think s that's all I think about . Yes I'm guilty of finding my husband attractive after two years together and three kids. To want it the same as before. I'm still young and like to have fun and be playful with each other. Maybe its the age difference. But i don't see harm in asking for what is suppose to come natural. I try to accommodate his needs and not bothering him for affection but a little more on his part would be nice. To show hey I'm still interested in you and stuff. I just want to know if I'm crazy for wanting time with him after the kids are in bed and a little quality time for us to catch up watch some tv and cuddle up is so wrong?
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Hello Anon
Thank you for writing.
It's not wrong to want affection in a marriage - it's natural.
My husband and I both work very long hours and co-parent so I understand how he feels! But I was also a stay at home mother for some years so I understand where you're coming from too.
We can't say if your husband has lost interest in your or sex or he's simply too tired to want anything at the end of the day.
Perhaps marriage counseling can help you both or taking some hours on the weekends (of whenever this is possible) to take a walk, to see a movie or go out to dinner. Your husband also needs to work on this - his hours are long but so are many peoples hours. He needs to be honest with you about how he is feeling as you're right - married couples should not turn into room-mates simply because they have children.
Talk to him about this and ask him if he's open to therapy.
February 26, 2018 - 5:35amBest,
Susan
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