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My boyfriend continues to save pictures of naked women on his computer after I've asked him to stop! Then masturbates while I am sleeping in the same room!

By June 10, 2010 - 9:37am
 
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Hey guys. I have been holding this story in for so long that I had to get it out to someone, as I have been too embarrassed to ask friends. I have many questions, and was excited to see there was a site that I could vent to. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now, and have had plenty of ups and downs, but the biggest fight that ever comes between us is his appearing to be addicted to looking at women on the internet. We have lived together most of the time that we have been seeing each other, which has been difficult for us, as we rushed into it way too soon, but because of this, I know many things I wish I didn't. First problem we had was he had hundreds of pictures of naked women saved on his computer, which personally I found disgusting, and hurtful!! The numbers continued to grow, even after I told him that I understood if he needed to look at them online to "get off" but I strongly insisted that I was not okay with him saving the pictures. After refusing to do it, I finally had a massive break-down about it, and his response was that he was so sorry and then the next day he showed me that his pictures file was empty, and that he did it because he loves me so much and knew how much it meant to me. Of course I was ecstatic, only to find out that a week or so later, he had just moved them into a folder of a folder of a folder so that I would never find them again! He flat out lied to my face! I felt cheated, disgraced, mortified, and betrayed, it was horrible! Since then there have been many discussions about how I am not comfortable with him saving the pictures, and have asked a million times for him to stop, in which he gets extremely angry with me, and says I can't tell him what to do, or he will agree to stop...but continues! I can't control my anger about it sometimes, and end up going in and deleting all of them out of rage, yet he just continues to save them! And to top all of that off, he will look at them, as well as a million other sites and masturbate while I am sleeping in bed beside him! Waking up to this, I have told him so many times how disgusting and disrespectful I think it is, but I cannot get him to stop! It feels like every morning I wake up to see there is a towel beside his computer to clean up his "mess" and it is actually starting to make me completely not attracted to him, because I am just so grossed out by it! Why can't he just go to another room? Or do it when I am not around? In-turn I feel like it is extremely affecting our sex life, because he just doesn't seem to ever want it enough, especially for a 21 year old! Please help...I don't know what to do anymore about either situation! He refuses to respect my wishes or even appear to care about my feelings. Am I being unfair and overreacting about this?

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I have the same issue I have sat on the bed and he ignores me even when I am in sexy underwear continues to look and save them while playing with himself and he has woken me up in the early hours shaking the bed and when I say if ur going to do that get a towel and go In to the bathroom he then says I was a sleep strange as he stops when i let it known I am awake Iove him so much and I know he loves me but it hurts and makes me feel not wanted and when I mention it he gets angry I know men masterbate it's normal but this hurts

December 12, 2018 - 5:19am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

BREAK UP WITH HIM! If you disagree with it that much, there are plenty of guys out there who don't do it, and in return there are girls who don't care if their bf's save these nasty pics. You both can be happier with other people.

November 22, 2017 - 11:59pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

with my bf, i asked him to delete the naked pics off of his phone but i dont know if he has done so as i havent seen him for a few days. we have been together 9 months and a few weeks ago he let me go through his pictures, after he deleted the porn. I found pics of him and his ex, okay i get he wants to have "memories" even if they are bad or good, but why tf keep pics of him and his ex making out, it makes me mad because he says he wont delete them because he likes to look at the bad memories sometimes and feel sad.
this pisses me off because i asked him why he has the pics when we are together, and the fact that i hate seeing him and his ex together. he wants to keep it but it pisses me off that he does and i just want to shout at him for it. i dont know what to do.

July 7, 2017 - 5:36am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

This exact same thing is happening to me but he is still getting them of his best friend!!!!

April 4, 2016 - 11:25am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Let us men masturbate freely, we are programmed to do so. We love women, I think about the dynamics between man and women and it's truly fascinating. I am boldly open and comfortable with my desires because I can acknowledge that beauty comes in many forms and suppressing my urges to admire my exquisite girlfriend in addition to admiring roughly 3000 photos of passionately archived beauties, enc

This works for us and we communicate it openly and discuss it, attempting to get to a compromise we both are happy with. At the end, having fun and being able to get along is the most important thing, and I acknowledge it is easier said than done.

January 13, 2016 - 1:30am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Would you like your girlfriend to masturbate to a guy's photo? Which is not yours ofc.

May 18, 2016 - 12:38pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I think most often times when men or women do this its spite. He knows it bothers you and thats probably one main reason he does it and you having to ' clean his mess ' is probably just the icing on the cake for him. I would leave seriously. Unless you want to do stuff back to him, but that usually never gets anywhere. I think what hes doing is rude and disrespectful and the fact that he doesn't care shows you right there. I say move on if it bothers you that bad. If hes doing spiteful things now like that, then it probably will only get worse. Leave him to clean his own mess.

September 25, 2015 - 5:14am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

And as someone else said love yourself more. Also not every man or woman does those things so never be fooled into thinking otherwise. We all have free will or free choice and everyone is different. You don't have to keep anyone around in your life period that doesn't respect or care about you. Take a break for yourself and do things that you love to do. Take yourself out of the situation, then maybe you'll know what YOU want or need to do. Thats my advice to you.

September 25, 2015 - 5:36am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hello all! Your men are prob getting their pics from a site called the Chive and similar sites like it. They all have a sophmoric, fraternity image to them and it's a shame this is what our " men" have been brainwashed into liking. It's only a natural behavior to look at pics daily, regularly, as much as addiction is natural. I'm sure you wouldn't just let any other addiction go unnoticed and not be concerned or feel like second-place. And it's only naturally ok behavior if he doesn't care about this women and thinks they are bodies as much as sexusm is natural. And again I'm sure you being in a relationship with someone socialized to be sexist ( oh but in an ok we are just being frat boys way) would be a problem. This is our future selection of men. Great. Blame the Chive and other unintelligent, waste of time sites for the dumbing down if our men.and blame the girls that spend hours in front of theur phones, theirrir then using apps and filters to get one mediocre selfie or belfie h
Just to post it to the web and aid your man's addiction. Ladies and gentlemen of America...I give you the dumbing down, and ultimately, the fall of what we have left of both sexes of our nation. Awesome.

September 16, 2015 - 12:50pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

And yes I know I have a few typos and spelling errors...but unless you are one of those outstanding men (hint: sarcasm) that peruse pics on the Chive or similar site or work out your brain fapping on a daily basis to them, then you prob get the gist of what I'm saying.

September 16, 2015 - 1:07pm
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