What do you do when you're pregnant and your partner doesn't want the baby?

By Anonymous October 1, 2011 - 10:34am

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I am 2 weeks late, first pregnancy test was negative, have nausea, headaches, swollen breasts, etc. My partner of a couple years already has a 5 year old child whom doesn't live with us, but he says if I really am pregnant, he thinks I should have an abortion. I don't want an abortion. He says if I'm pregnant, he won't be happy at all. We can't afford it, but I don't want to abort my first child if I am pregnant.

What do I do? I don't believe this is fair.

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Rosa Cabrera RN

Dear Anon,

I agree-- it isn't fair to you and it certainly isn't fair to the unborn child who has no say in this decision. First you need to find out if in fact you are pregnant-- you can take another pregnancy test or go to your doctor for a blood test.

If you are pregnant-- this is your choice. Whether he chooses to be around for his child is his choice but giving a child a chance of life and a family, even if he isn't around, is yours.

If you aren't pregnant-- please re-evaluate your relationship. If you are not yet a mother, I am presuming that you want to be one based on your question and you need to decide if you want to be with someone who doesn't want children. Will it make you resentful? Will you fall out of love? Do you want to be scared about becoming pregnant because you'll lose your boyfriend? This is probably a good time to realize what is important in your life and what or who isn't.

If you decide to stay with this guy, please use protection.

Good Luck,

Rosa

October 1, 2011 - 2:36pm