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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years now and we used to have sex like twice a day for the whole first year we were going out! We have been living together for almost a year now, and it's really bothering me that I practically have to beg him to have sex with me. I am a girl who likes to be passionate and have lots of sex but he doesn't ever seem like he wants to and if I want sex I usually have to initiate it every time. We love each other a lot and emotionally our relationship is great. But physically not so much. I eel like he is not attracted to me anymore and it is making me self conscious. HELP!
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Hi bee.ee.see.see.ay,
I'm so sorry you're going through this and that you're feeling self-conscious. Unfortunately, this is much more common than you probably think. First of all, don't let whatever is going on with him change how you feel about yourself! You're beautiful!
Have you talked to him about it yet? Communication about this issue usually isn't easy, but maybe there's something going on that you're not recognizing. It's great that emotionally you guys are solid, and that should make bringing it up a bit easier.
Has anything changed in your relationship? Sometimes emotional issues or stress (not necessarily having to do with you) can effect a person's libido.
Or perhaps you both have different expectations. On one hand, it's normal to have more sex in the beginning of a relationship, but on the other, no sex after five years isn't quite right, especially if one person in the relationship is unhappy.
Sometimes, talking with others who are going through the same thing helps. We have a group with others who are going through something similar:
https://www.empowher.com/groups/Help-Relationship-Problems
And an article that may help to give you more insight:https://www.empowher.com/sex-amp-relationships/content/best-responses-men-why-wont-he-have-sex-me
February 21, 2012 - 6:43amBest of luck, & keep us updated,
Danielle
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