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Why don't I enjoy sex?

By Anonymous July 29, 2012 - 3:03pm
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I've not lost my sex drive, I've just never had it to begin with.

Me and my boyfriend are in a happy relationship of about 2 years, everything is great except the sex( which causes us to argue sometimes). I'm always very reluctant because I'm never in the mood. I've never had an orgasm (and I feel like I'm really missing out!) and I can safely say I rarely enjoy sex, after a while I just get sore and bored.
He is the only person I've been with so I've not had a lot of practice or experience.

Am I doing something wrong? Or is there something I could be doing to help myself?
My boyfriend is really patient with me and very understanding, I just wish I could get in the mood and get into sex!

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Dear Anon,

I'm sorry to hear about your sex situation with your boyfriend. Are you in love with your boyfriend? Have you ever felt sexually aroused by him? If you never have, not even in the beginning-- then you may have low libido or you may be what some consider asexual. Before assuming that you are asexual, however, it is a good idea to visit your primary care physician and explain your situation so that s/he can run appropriate blood work.

Wishing you the best,


July 30, 2012 - 6:54am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Rosa Cabrera RN)

Hi Rosa,

Thank you for your advice. I do love my boyfriend very much, I know that he wants me to enjoy sex so that we can both have a good time.
Now that I really think about it, I can't say I have ever been sexually aroused by him. Maybe seeing my doctor would be a good idea to rule out any problems.

It's really bothering me, I feel that at 20 I should be having a great sex life with my partner!

Many thanks,

July 30, 2012 - 2:26pm
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