I have been dating this guy for four months online, it was perfect. We were inseperable 24/7 and we both compliment each other's personality in every way possible. Our online connection was rare in every aspect. We trusts each other so much and even we were miles away it only felt he's just in the other room.. Everytime we start video cam after I got home from work he is always ecstatic to see me. He works from home and he always adjusts his tume to my schedule.. We had 12 hours difference but it's okay since I work nightshifts so time was never a problem for us.. We talked a lot.. Everyday since the first time we've meet and that wasn't even enough, he misses me right after I hang up to go to work.. He was very affectionate and caring.. We even do video chats while I'm on lunch break, it was never ending for us.. We were basically crazy over each other. He has high sex drive and we managed to satisfy that even we were only dating online. We already planned our future ahead.. Like getting married and me moving to his country, originally, he planned to move here with me but the internet here is too slow and that won't be feasible for him because of his work.
And then he left the country.. When he came back to his country, he got sick again and I've noticed little changes, so in addition to the worries and stress that I was originally having when he was here I was so worried.. I tried to talk to him about it and he assurred me again and again that he feels the same towards me and that nothing changed the way he felt about me. He loves me just the same as before.. Though I still felt something is different and he said It was like I'm purposely pushing him away when he said there's none but I seemed convinced there is. After a month he realized it too, he said that we are not as close as before.. We barely had quality time together.. We still did the same, video cam, chat and text but it was not the same.. He said he felt something different towards me when we ere together, it wasn't bad but it was different. Though all the feelings he has for me was there and he doesn't know why. He said all the things about me online was the same. I didn't do anything bad or anything like that he just felt 'something was different'. I told him to take some time to think.. I asked him specific questions like think about us, do you see a future without me in it? And then we didn't talk for three days. After that three days, he broke up with me. He said, in person he was lacking the romantic pull.. The draw.. He doesn't know why but everything else feels the same.. And then as we went on analyzing what was wrong we've discussed about the sexual part, he wasn't sure but he said it could be because all his girlfriends in the past was almost the same body type as him. He is skinny.. So his ex-gfs were petite. He said from the time we've started I gained weight, he noticed it but it didn't bother him at all since it didn't change the way he feels for me. He said I am not fat for him, but I'm soft and a bit chunky.. And he has never been with a woman with my body type before so he's not sure if it was the reason why he didn't find me sexually attractive. In other aspects he said I am attractive to him. So that was it.. He said he loves me but he thought we will never work out as a couple because of his high sex drive and he wasn't sexually attracted to me.. He said he still wants me in his life.. I'm his bestfriend and he wants to have me if that's the only way possible.. As friends. We both don't understand why it was like that in person.. It is hard for him as it is to accept it, he's hurt too, he said it is even worse because he hurt me and said he misses me so much but he thinks it has to be done.. We broke up but we still talk. It wasn't what we were like before like 24/7 but we still talk everyday. Sometimes trying to analyze what went wrong.. Sometimes just random stuffs.. He's still the caring and loving person like he used to.. He still wants me to visit his country.. I'm fine staying as friends.. The kind of person he is, is rare and He is worth keeping. Though it's hard for me because I can't let go of the romatic love that I feel for him. We will stay as friends and planning to meet in the future but he's worried about it.. He said what if he feels the same in person again? I told him we will meet as friends and no expectations but minus the factors we previously had, then we will see from there. It's sad, how could two people who are so inlove quickly fall apart like this? Is it wrong to hope that in the future it might be different? Is it wrong to stay friends with him? He said if I need time to heal, he will wait till I'm ready.. No matter how long.