By Gary Kobat
If you were happy, would you know it?
We begin the path to happiness by taking care of ourselves first. When the oxygen mask drops down, we must put it on first before assisting others. This feeling of worthiness, along with the ability to allow and receive expands our capacity to care about, lead, and empower the wellbeing of others.
Happiness comes from a foundation of mindfulness, responsibility, worthiness, self-love, deservingness and truth.
Are there times in life that you say one thing and do another? Do you keep your word? Do you say what you think someone wants to hear, rather than saying what you really feel? Do you over-commit and under-deliver? When these things happen, do you even notice? Do you feel worthy and deserving?
When we tap into the truth, positive energy is released and higher opportunities and solutions appear as if by magic. We develop self-respect, and we feel respected by others. Our sense of wellbeing becomes contagious. We set intentions and accomplish more easily, with less to clean up and fewer apologies to make.
Are you aware that with a few simple, yet profound shifts in thought or behavior, we can always create the happiness we desire?
A recent e-mail from a past client:
"Dear Gary, this is Kevin. Remember me? David and I ran the Boston Marathon with you: humbled, yet proud by just barely finishing. Your recent Mindful Tool about truth touched my life again brother; allow me to explain.
I started lying to my dad when I was a young boy to get out of whippings. Why tell the truth and get in trouble? I became a liar; everything from stories about girls to how big the fish I caught. Most of all, I became a liar about my feelings. When I was scared, I said I wasn't. When someone hurt me, I said I didn't care, but I really did. I didn't want to seem weak. So I started to lift weights to get big and to intimidate the guys and impress the girls. But I was actually scared of both and always lied about it. I also lied about a secret I had about doing drugs; which is the lie that almost killed me.
Six and one half years ago, with help, I MADE A DECISION TO STOP LYING. The lying was killing me inside. I was sick of living my life like that. At the beginning, I would still lie to a friend but the guilt would hurt me inside so much I would go confess to him, no matter how small the lie. Now a lie is a lie to me.
NOW I have nothing to hide. I talk to people about my feelings and my experience because if somebody is living the way I was before, I want them to know they're not alone, and they can change. I'm living proof that a zebra can change his stripes. I live right, I don't envy others, I keep my side of the street clean, and MOST of all, I'm honest. I'm living a fear free life. What a relief! What freedom!
Well, that's my story as a liar. Please let everyone know that my name is Kevin, that I am happy, and that everything in my life is beautiful now that truth leads the way.
Gary, it was such a cleansing to write this. Thank you. Continue spreading the word, my friend. The truth is: just be honest, it will change our lives."
Through our commitment to truth, we create a journey of authenticity, of depth, and of peace. With truth we are free; without rationalization we remain conscious to what is actually going on. With truth there's less editing, more clarity, less tension, and more voice. We need not hide any part of ourselves we have feared. As we express our truths with full responsibility, we enter into an exquisite energy of intimacy with ourselves, our friends and others.
With this truth, real happiness is possible for all of us. There is no defect or deficiency that prevents us from being happy. However, there are false beliefs that must be challenged and hurts that must be healed in order for our hearts to love and live.
Real truth and happiness starts with the relationship with yourself. It requires radical self-acceptance. It requires that we take others off the hook and begin to take responsibility for loving ourselves no matter what happens, believing in ourselves, facing life's challenges without fear, knowing we have gifts to share. When we move through our pain and heal our hurts, we begin to forgive ourselves and others, taking responsibility for our lives, connecting with our true self, attracting honest, fulfilling relationships, all while creating meaningful work that expresses our gifts. We create a true feeling of worthiness and deservingness.
Be truth, practice truth, nurture happiness; real truth is real power, real freedom, real peace, real love, and real happiness.
Gary Kobat, World Class Athlete and Olympic "Mentalist," is on a heart-felt mission to inspire millions of people to reveal their vibrational highest best self: mentally, physically, and spiritually. The author, international speaker, and Integrative Performance Coach mixes ancient wisdom with cutting-edge trends in human performance to focus his teachings and practice on the importance of self-love and self-worth.
Click here for a complimentary copy of Gary's weekly Mindful Tools and ebook.